Ebullient

[ih BUL yunt]

Ebullience

Enthusiastic; exuberant, bubbling with excitement

Matthew went insane when he heard that he had been chosen to do the eye bull hunt. Screaming at the top of his lungs, he punched the judge, tickled the people holding the bull so it was let go, and, as it ran towards him, snapped his spoon in half, at which point he was defencless and mauled to life.

Eccentric

[ek SEN tric]

Ecentricities

[ek sen TRIS uh teez]

Weird, unconventional, kooky

Every day a smelly old bum named Matthew stood in the middle our street performing his egg center trick; breaking the egg into two over his pet kangaroo, making an invisible duplicate andthen putting the duplicate back together. It was the strangest thing anyone had ever seen.

Eclectic

[ih -klek- tic]

Taking the best from many sources, variety of sources

Matthew loved to play tic-tac-klek because its mix of the best parts of a variety of all his favourite games. It involves trying to get the most money by conquering the most countries by buying the most real-estate by twisting your body the best by knowing the most trivia questions. 

Edify

[-ed- uh fye]

Edification

To enlighten, to instruct, esp. in religious or moral matters

The professor enlightened his students to the value of forging million dollar bills for him by explaining how it made the country richer, increasing jobs and providing extra tax funding for the military to take away their liberties more effectively.

Efface

[ih -fays-]

2. Self-effacing

To erase, to rub away the features of

2.Modest, moderate in estimation of abilities

Over-night the F-face was drawn all over town. The cute baby face shaped like an F was so terrifying that the entire town set about erasing it, rubbing it out with the heads of their babies for three days straight. The babies were very modest about their hard work

Effusion

[ih -fyoo- zhun]

2. Effusive

Pouring fourth

2. Highly emotional

The old man doctor was always in a hive or emotion. The only way to keep his sanity was to pour it fourth upon a local youth by screaming 'F you sonny!' and putting a firecracker in his ear. This, however greatly increased his stress as he had to fix their ears afterward

Egalitarian

[ih gal uh -tayr- ee un]

Egalitarianism

Believing in the social and economic equality of all people

The egal lit the hair of Ian because Ian was the only rich person, due to being paid for being the only person with hair, and the egal believed that all people should be equal [poor and hairless]

Egocentric

[ee go sen trik]

rel. egotist

adj. Selfish; believing one is center of the universe.

A person is so selfish he destroys the sun so he can take its place, thereby destroying all life in the universe.

Egregious

[ih -gree- jus]

Extremely bad; flagrant [obviously offensive]

I didn't realize that my eating green brocolli juice would be extremely bad and offensive to the death-to-vegetables club, and lead to my being thrown through the wall

Elicit

[ih [lis] it]

To bring out; to call forth

For his final performance to the toddler birthday party, the magician brought out and called forth giant lice to come down from the hills into the valley to devour the children's clothes.

- the interviewer skillfully elicited out true feelings by telling us to get to the heart of the matter.

Elliptical

[ih [lip] ti kul]

adj. Oval, obscure, missing a word or words, hard to understand

I lipped the tie's call to me the other night, which Ross was so interested in, but he could not understand without me actually saying it, it was too obscure.

-The announcement from the State department was purposefully elliptical-  the government didn't want reporter's to know what was actually going on.

Elusive

[ih [loo] siv]

adj. Evasive, hard to pin down.

The famous Emu Hive evaded Indiana Jones everywhere he went.

-The team played hard, but victory was elusive, and they suffered another defeat.

Emminent

[[em] uh nunt]

Preeminent

adj. Well-known and respected; outstanding in accomplishment

The English teacher fell to his knees in worship of the well-known and respected M & N[M] Hunter.

Empirical

[em PIR uh kul]

Empirically

Practical; relying on experience and observation instead of mere theory

The Empire of the Cult rose up from the small town of St. George to conquer all of the east coast. But what was really odd was that they did not conquer by military force but by showing their experience and observation, proving that they would make a good dictator.

Emulate

[EM yuh layt]

Emulating

v. Strive to equal or excel, usually through imitation.

Matthew wanted to equal, if not excel, his sisters tartiness so he built the EM-YAH-LATE! machine, which used a laser beam to slow him down to a snails pace.

Encroach

[en KROHCH]

Encroached

Encroaching

v. to gradually advance, or trespass, into.

After days of refusing to tell the evil scientist where the apple was, the coach was finally set up under the torture device. The coach laid under a slowly falling ancour, which gradually trespassed into his stomach over the course of three years.

Endemic

[en DEM ik]

adj. Native; indigenous; restricted to particular era or place.

The end of the Demon Mic is native to only one area of the world [Ottawa], and it's yellow-booger-eating-knat curse is restricted to that particular area.

Enervate

[EN ur vayt]

v. to reduce the strength or energy of. esp. gradually

After an nerve ate my best pizza, every bite of pizza sucked my strength and energy.

Enfranchise

[en FRAN chyze]

2. Disenfranchise

v. grant privilege of citizenship, esp. to vote.

2. to take away citizenship

Osama bin laden's invention of the 'Infra-Franchise' vision won him the privilege of citizenship, because no one knew what it is.

Engender

[en JEN dur]

Engendered

v. to bring create, to cause, bring into existence.

 Cross-dress Migee wanted to destroy differences in gender, so he created and brought into existence to he-she, a new creature that was both sexes and could cross-dress at will.

Enigma

[uh NIG ma]

Enigmatic

[en ig mat ic]

n. a mystery

My mother was a mystery, being half white-german and half an 'Nig-ma' [Nigerian]. Except the two parts were striped across her in various paterns.

Enormity

[i NOR muh tee]

n. Extreme evil; a hideous offence; immensity

It was normal to see a enormous tee walking through town completing one hideous offence after the other, spreading evil in every step as it seeked its mothers spoon.

-Hitler's soldiers stormed through the village, committing one enormity after the other.

Ephemeral

[i [fem] ural]

adj. Lasting a very short time.

If you always ask a female to smell your urinal your friendship will last a very short time.

Ephemeral

[i [fem] ur al]

adj. Lasting a very short time.

The feminists oral agression lasted a very short time before her lips were glued shut by the monkey..andthen to a passing train...

-Youth and flowers are ephemeral

Epigram

[EP uh gram]

Epigrammatic

n. a brief usually witty or satirical saying

I always look forward to my weekly email from e-pig of witty sayings about gram crackers.

Epigraph

Epitaph

Epithet

Epigraph: apt quotation placed at beginning of book/essay.

A list of the crappiest apt quotation begins the classic book 'E-pigs suck'

Epitaph: commemorative inscription on a grave.

Rather than a wordy inscription, commemorative tafey was plastered over Brad Pitt's grave, epitomizing his life.

Epithet: term used to describe the nature of something, sometimes belittling.

The epic of the hat describes the belittling nature of everything [something]. It's wise teachings still ring true.

Equanimity

[ek wuh NIM uh tee]

Ephemeral

[i FEM ur al]

Ephemeral

adj. lasting a very short time

If you alway's ask a female to smell your urinal your friendship will last a very short time.

-ephemeral friendship, spring

Epigram

[EP uh gram]

Epigrammatic

Epigram, Epigrammatic

n. brief witty/satirical saying

I always look forward to getting my weekly email from e-pig of witty-satirical sayings about gram crackers.

Epigraph

Epigraph

an apt quotation placed at the begining of a book

Matthew's graph of the crappiest quotations begin the classic novel- E-pigs suck 

Epitaph

Commemorative inscription on a grave.

Rather than a wordy inscription taffey was plastered over Brad Pitt's grave, epitomizing his life.

Epithet

term used to describe the nature of something; sometimes belittling.

The epic of the hat describes the nature of something. It's wise teachings still ring true.

Epitome

[i PIT o mee]

Epitome

n. brief summary that captures the meaning of the whole; perfect example [paradigm]

Matthew's attempt to create a skyscraper dome out of pits is the perfect example, a brief summary of excellence that captures the whole of the human arm pit.

Equanimity

[ek wuh NIM uh tee]

Equanimity

n. composure, calm

With a face of complete composure and calm, I pech yuh numb matee 

Equitible

[EK wuh tuh bul]

Inequity

Equitible

adj. fair

Inequity=unfairness

Matthew's being E-Quit able was very fair him but torture to his employer.

Equivocal

[ih KWIV uh kul]

Equivocate

Equivocal

adj. ambiguous, intentionally confusing

Equivocate

to mislead by saying intentionally confusing things.

The quivering E running for mayor was very vocal about gibberish. He was intentionally confusing to prevent anyone from knowing his platform was to buy a new birdbath. 

The only thing he promised was to ate anyone who tried to mislead sheep into taverns with confusing words.

Erudite

[ER yoo dyte]

Erudition

[er yoo DISH un]

Erudite

adj. scholarly; deeply learned.

Erudition

The club rule was that the air you fight must be scholarly or deeply learned, and only with one dish.

Esoteric

[es uh TER ik]

Esoteric

adj. hard to understood; understood by few; peculiar

The ESO's self-terring Hic was hard to understand and only understood by a few, extremely peculiar.

Espouse

[eh SPOWZ]

Espouse

v. to support; to advocate

If your spouse says 'Eh' you immediately support and advocate whatever she's saying until your body is completely covered in spots.

Ethereal

[ih THIR ee ul]

Ethereal

adj. heavenly; as light and insubstantial as gas

Thor met a seegul lighter than gas who gave him magical powers in exchange for sex.

Euphemism

[YOO fuh miz um]

Euphemism

n. pleasant or inoffensive expression in exchange for an unpleasant or offensive one.

- 'taking the big bus downtown' instead of death

Instead of using the unpleasant 'Fudge-head muzlem' he said the inoffensive term 'Yoo fun mizum'

Evanescent

[ev uh NES unt]

Evanescent

adj. fleeting; vanishing; happening only for a short time.

-Meteors are evanescent; they happen so quickly its hard to tell what happened.

Eve's monday Nes hunt was fleeting, for only a brief moment, for she quickly vanished when Nes took a crap on and sunk her boat.

Exacerbate

[ig ZAS ur bayt]

Exacerbate

v. to make worse

-I exacerbated Mike's anger by filling his pants with mud.

Z's anger was made worse when his egg-bayt hatched and turned into killer-wasps

Exacting

[ig ZAK ting]

Exacting

adj. extremely demanding; difficult; requiring great skill or care.

It was very difficult and demanding for me to zap and tinkle on an egg- requiring years of hard learned skill.

Exult

[ig ZAWLT]

Exult

v. to raise high; to glorify.

After bearing that sult directly causes the will to give hugz, I raised salt up high on top of the parliament to be glorified of the world.

Exasperate

[ig ZAS puh rayt]

Exasperate

v. to annoy thoroughly; to try patience of; to make very angry.

Egg's puke rating being higher than Matthew's again first tried his patience, then annoyed him, andthen made him very angry, so that he ate the puke and spat it out over Egg's head.

Exemplify

[ig ZEM pluh fi]

Exemplify

v. to illustrate by example; serve as good example.

Matthew-the-fly's good example illustrated the proper way to plow a zebra.

Exhaustive

[ig ZAWS tiv]

Exhaustive

adj. thorough, rigorous, complete, painstaking.

The bee's from the exhaust pipe hive [including Matthew] had to live a rigorous, painstaking life to continually, completely, and thoroughly repair the damage to the hive caused by the exhaust.

Exemplary

[ig ZEM plahr ee]

Exemplary

outstanding or worthy of praise.

It was outstanding to see the Matthew-the-Egg fix the hemp player's knee instead of scoring a goal, truly worthy of praise!

Exemplar

[ig ZEM plahr]

Exemplar

n. and ideal model or paradigm

The Egg's par with an M[atthew] shaped plow was the ideal model or paradigm of the perfect gold stroke.

Exhort

[ig ZORT]

adj. Hortatory

[HOR tuh tor ee]

Exhort

v. to urge strongly, to seriously warn.

The Egg's snort strongly recommended professor Matthew not to eat him and warned the Korean not to eat live lobster.

Hortatory:

The tortoise story warned turtle's not to Hork and urged them instead to play the stock exchange.

Exigency

[EK si jen see]

Exigent

Exigency

n. an emergency; an urgency. [Exigent=urgent]

After seeing the soldiers had walked into a giant X sergeant Matthew went into a state of urgency to enact their emergency explosion before they could be killed.

Exonerate

[ig ZAHN uh rayt]

Exonerate

v. to completely free from blame; to exculpate.

Even though the lasanya rated his mating skills to be insufficient, Matthew completely freed his lasagnya from blame before eating it.

Expatriate

[eks PAY tree ayt]

Expatriate 

[eks Pay tree ut]

Repatriate

[re PAY tree ayt]

Repatriate

[re PAY tree ut]

Expatriate, Repatriate

v. to throw out of native land; to emigrate

Repatriate to come back afterwards.

Worried of its continually paying for hate, Matthew threw the X tree out of its native land.

Expedient

[ik SPEE dee unt]

n. expedience or expediency

Expedient, Expedience, Expediency.

adj. providing an immediate advantage; serving one's immediate self-interest; practical.

Even though I had no intention of a relationship, I liked the speedy aunt[s] because it served my immediate advantage- to slow her down so I could win the race.

Expedite

[EK spi dyte]

Expedite

v. to speed up or ease the process of.

I expect the spy blight to speed up and ease the process of my being made a spy without training.

Explicit

[ik SPLIS it]

Implicit

Explicit

adj. clearly and directly expressed

Implicit

indirectly expressed or implied.

The Hic clearly and directly expressed how to do the splits over a pit of sharks without ripping the imp- which was implied to be held indirectly involved.

Extol

[ik STOHL]

Extol

v. to praise highly; to laud.

Once Matthew stole the mike from icky vicky and then beat her with it, he was praised highly and lauded across the city.

Extraneous

[ik STRAY nee us]

Extraneous

adj. unnecessary; irrelevant; extra.

After asking for a pet dog for my birthday, Mick Jagger went unnecessarily  far by bringing 40 extra strays near us, though irrelevant because they disintegrated in the rain.

Extrapolate

[ik STRAP uh layt]

Extrapolate

v. to project or induce from something known; to infer.

After seeing the late strap glued to a pole, Matthew deduced from the knowledge that its being late for the bilderberg meeting because it was glued to the pole.

Extricate

[EK struh kayt]

Inextricable

[in EKS trik uh bul]

Extricate

v. to free from difficult.

Inextricable

permanently stuck

After the egg struck with hate, Matthew freed himself from difficulty by casting a spell on the egg that permanently stuck it inable.

Exult

[ig ZALT]

Exult

v. to rejoice; to cellebrate

Matthew celebrated and rejoiced after finding out he had won the nobel peace prize for hugging salt.