•  
  •  
    • As are real and stable as traditional relationships.
    • Anonymity may facilitate closeness
    • Gives stigmatized groups opportunities for social support
    • Reduces risks associated wi/ emotional disclosure
    • (only works assuming that the individual s presenting an “honest” persona online)

Proximity

Familiarity

Physical Attractiveness

•   positive feelings toward a new stimulus or person are increased the more often we

are exposed to it or them.

•     if initial exposure is negative; increased exposure will intensify dislike. 

• Attractiveness in Females

Large Eyes

small nose

prominent cheekbones

avg height

hourglass figure

medium breasts

• strong jaw
• broad forehead
• broad shoulders
• slim waist/legs
• tall
• muscles

Men less about appeares more about $

Women want to maintain looks

•  
  • says that a species’ mating patterns depend on what each sex has to invest – in the way of time, energy, and survival risk – to produce and nurture offspring.
    • Says that women will be more selective in choosing mating partners b/c want mates who will supply resources needed to support offspring for many years.

Reciprical liking

Similarity (attitudes, in friends and love)

desirable personality charateristics (warmth, friendly, humor, assertive)

actions and activities used to sustain the desired quality of a relationship

Humor

Avoidance

Openness

No Flirting

Positivity

• good listening
• knowing partner's opinions
• making positive attributions about partner's behaviors
• expressing trust and commitment
• recognizing partner's support and effort
• optomism

lack of interest in partner's dislcoure

(-) towards partner

dwelling on partner's faults

pessimistic

personal standard of what constitutes an acceptable balance of rewards and costs

(based on past and others)

1) Comparison level for alts

2) investments 

Emotional/social support

social, compatibility

emotionally based

discuss more about personal matters

In other

acitivity based

discuss work, sports, etc

in other cultures more emotion not in us (men socialized to be hard, no homo, men see each other as competition)

remain friend with ex

need for support

the assumption that all individuals and relationships are heterosexual

(most romantic studies)

• Sternberg’s triangular theory of love

all loving relationship are comprised of a combo of:

1) intimacy

2) passion

3) commitment 

consumate love:

all 3 present 

(HAZEN AND SHAVER) secure

avoidant

anxious-ambivilent

•  
  •  
    • Secure adults (55% of subjects)

-          Trusts others, comfortable w/ mutual dependence, longer-lasting rlshps

•  
  •  
    • Avoidant adults (25% of subjects)

-          Fear closeness, maintain emotional distance

•  
  •  
    • Anxious-ambivalent adults (20% of subjects)

·         -obsessive about rlsps, jealous, fears of abandonment

(Bartholomew and Horowitz)

4 attachement types

More committed/fulfilling relationships

Interdependent/well adjusted relationships

seek and provide support under stress

better mental health

both associated with shorter rlshps

AV w/draw from partner

AA hostile

•  
  • Longitudinal studies show moderate stability over the first 19 years of life, and increases to some degree in adulthood.
  • However, attachment styles can be altered by life events (both in a positive and negative direction).

•  
  •  
    • Passion peaks early & then decreases in intensity.
    • Intimacy & commitment increase as time progresses.[image]

premature commitment

ineffective communication/conflict managment

boredom

better alt

take your time to get to know one another

emphasize (+)

novelty

effective communication/conflict skillls

-          Economic interdependence

-          Common residence

-          Sexual fidelity

-          Child rearing

okay to be single (w8 to marry, no (-) stereotype of single)

okay to cohbaitate

reduced need for permancence (divorce ok socially)

transitions in gender roles

dont wanna have kids

nuclear family not modern family

-          To participate in a socially sanctioned intimate relationship

-          Social pressure to adhere to the norm

people marry those w/ similiar personal characteristics–        (age, education, attractiveness)

–        socioeconomic status

–        intelligence

–        Ambition

–        financial prospects

·         What do men value more than women?

–        youthfulness

–        Physical attractiveness

–        Family background

–        age

–        Length of courtship

–        Personality Traits (perfectionism, neuroticism, insecurity)

- Premaritial communication

McGoldrick's family Cycle

U.N.Y.A.E.L.

Unattached Young Adult

Newly married (honeymoon phase)

Young kids (1st kid)

Adolecent kids

Empty nest

Later life (until health/death)

More hostility in husbands

More depression in wives

Lower maritial happiness

cant be positive

misunderstand one another

more negative

different self disclosure

–        Four communication patterns that are risk factors for divorce

Contempt- (-) communication/insulting

Criticism: critical/4cus on (-)

Stonewalling: refuse to listen

Belligerence: excessive bx

–        Communication difficulties

–        infidelity

–        Jealousy

–        Growing apart

–        Foolish spending

–        Substance abuse

More diffucult/disruptive

assume responsibility of kids

income drops 36%

–        Depression,  anxiety, nightmares, dependency. aggression, withdrawal or distractibility, lowered academic performance, physical health, precocious sexual behavior, substance abuse.

-- can be good if out of conflict

Approx _____ of divorced people remarry

Divorce rates are _____ for 2nd marraiges

3/4ths

higher

biologically differences between males and females

·         male-female differences that are learned or socialized

·         widely held beliefs about males’ and females’ abilities, personality traits, and social behavior. 

·         orientation toward emotion and relationships (feminine traits)

o   belief that masculinity is the norm and is favorable

Girls start speaking 1st, better vocabs, better reading

boys better on analogies, more likely reading disability

to perceive and mentally manipulate shapes/figures

largest, boys better

§  Females usually score lower than males on measures of self-esteem.

§  However, socio-economic and race complicates this issue.

§  There are larger gender differences in lower and middle income levels.

relational: bx hurt someone's feelings (calling fat)

indirect: bx that don't invole direct contact (rumors)

more interest in sex

sex linked with aggresions

sex and intimacy

sexuality more shaped by cultural and situational factors

Left brain-->

Right Brain -->

verbal/math processes

visual-spaitial skills/nonverbals

males more ______ ___________

Females have _____ ________ _________-

cerebal specialization

larger corpus callosusm

o   are chemical substances released into the bloodstream by the endocrine glands.

§  Prenatal Gender Differentiation.

hormones released in uterus

--i.e. females exposed to androgens=more masculine

·         acquisition of the norms and roles expected of people in a particular society

·         cultural expectations about what is appropriate behavior for each gender

o   Parents, teachers, peers, and others reinforce ‘gender-appropiate’ behavior

o   Parents (especially fathers) are less tolerant of gender-inappropriate behavior (especially in boys)

Observation learning/Social Cognitive Theory

occurs when a childs bx ir influence by observing others, who are called models; young kids inmitate same-sex adults

self socialization/gender schemas

2-3 yrs, kids say either male or female

gender "appropriate" play

household chores

§  Btw ages 4-6, children tend to separate into same-gender groups

§  Play takes different forms for boys and girls.

§  Boys play in larger groups, roam further from home and engage in more “rough and tumble” play.

§  Girls prefer smaller groups close to home

§  Grade-school texts often ignore or stereotype girls and women.

§  Gender bias also appears in teachers’ treatment of boys and girls in class.

§  Boys are given more attention, called on more frequently, and advised to go into science fields–even when girls’ grades are higher in these areas.

§  Males: shown more as competenet reaching goals, ingenuity

§  Females: appear less on TV, less employment, younger, more secondary & comedy roles

§  TV commercials especially likely to emphasize gender roles 

1.       Achievement.

2.       Aggression.

3.       Autonomy.

4.       Sexuality.

5.       Stoicism.

§  Problems with the male role.

·         Pressure to succeed à stress, shame à limits time spent with their families.

·    emotional stuff from emotional repression

·   sexual perfoemce=anxiety

·   homophobia

•          Pubescence - the 2-year span preceding puberty during which the changes leading to physical and sexual maturity take place

•      Puberty– stage that marks the beginning of adolescence and during which sexual function reach maturity

•          Late maturing boys feel anxious and self-conscious.

•          Early maturing girls have more academic problems, lower self-confidence and earlier experiences with alcohol and sex.

•  perception of timing impt

–        Abstract, future-oriented thought.

–        Generating multiple hypothesis and systematically testing them.

–        Hypothetical deductive (skills regarding how to reach logical conclusions when given information)

parasuicides

suicidal ideation

selfdestructive bx non-fatal

thinking about suicide

20-40

"Intimacy vs Isolation"

NEED TO FIND RELATIONSHIP

ßIntimate- Preintimate-Stereotyped-Pseudointimate-Isolate à

WORK

FAMILY/MARRAIGE

40-65

"Generativity vs Stagnaition"

Want generativity: concern for welfare of future generations (more=better)

aging/death facing

Parent transition

Work transistion

midlife crisis

SCP-brings more responsiblility, $, influence

CCP- people embark on new careers, reenter work force after kids

65+

"Integrity vs Despair"

Ego integrity

Despair (regret=bad)

Changes in apperance:

§  Weight ↑ til 50 years, then ↓ due to loss of muscle.

§  Skin sags and wrinkles, hair becomes gray

§  The nose and ears become longer and wider.

- 30-50 farsighted; 50+ nearsighted

- depth perception, adjust to darkenss, recoverty from glare, peri vision decline

-balding late 50s

-vision/hearing loss (+) men

- less # neurons

- dementia (no commong)

-women more drastic with estrogen (menopause - or + depends)

-men less T, more gradual

more disease

more exercise=better

death system

death anxiety

death system- collection of rituals/producedure to handle death

death anxiety- fear/apprehension about one's one death (less with accomplished and age and religion)

1.       Denial.

2.       Anger

3.       Bargaining.

4.       Depression

5. Acceptance

bereavement- painful loss of loved one to death

mourning- formal practivies in response to death

grieving process (bowlby)

1.       Numbness

2.       Yearning

3.       Disorganization

4. Reorganization

mother lose children ___________

women who loose husbands ___________ than women who lose parent

kids who lose parent __________

most depressed

more depressed

especially vulnerable

–        occurs when individuals experience multiple losses in close succession.

•          Ex. Tsunami disaster is Southeast Asia; family fatal car accident