Term
| What are the motivations behind topic avoidance? (3) |
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Definition
Relational Based Info
Individual Based Motivations
Information Based Motivations |
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Term
| Strategies of topic avoidance (4) |
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Definition
Vary in Directedness & Rudeness
1. Distraction: M-M
2. Defensiveness: M-H
3. Ingratiation: L-L Indirect & Polite
4. Taboo Topic Declaration: H-M |
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Term
| Negative consequences of secrets? |
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Definition
Negative
-create power imbalances
-create stress
- encourage concealment of relational problems
- encourage deception
-decrease breadth of topics
-lead to "split loyalty" |
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Term
| Positive consequences of secrets? |
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Definition
-gain autonomy
-increase bond with secret keeper |
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Term
| Negative consequences of REVEALING secrets |
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Definition
-Reduction in personal boundaries
-Possible negative reactions from listener
-Betrayed by listener- can use as manipulation, blackmail |
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Term
| Positive Consequences of REVEALING Secrets |
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Definition
-Reduce psychological/physical distress
-Lead to resolution of secret
*Vent- don 19t feel better about secret, just for yourself to feel better |
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Term
| What are some examples of secret tests? |
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Definition
-directness "If X happened, would you still love me?"
-asking a 3rd party
-triangle test *invoke jealousy*
-separation test
-Endurance test
-public presentation test
-indirect suggestion test- "What if we moved in together?" |
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Term
| What are the 3 types of relational uncertainty? |
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Definition
1. Self Uncertainty- YOU are uncertain
2. Partner Uncertainty- don 19t know PARTNER 19S goal is
3. Relationship Uncertainty- uncertainty about THE STATUS of relationship |
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Term
| What are the benefits of uncertainty? (3) |
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Definition
1. Protection from threatening face or damaging relationship
2. Provide excitement and novelty
3. Provide occasions to affirm commitment |
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Term
| What are the explanations for unrequited love? (3) |
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Definition
1. 1Cfalling upward 1D- lower attractiveness going for higher
2. Platonic friendships- one wants to be more than friends
3. Beginning stages of romantic relationships |
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Term
| The Disenchantment Process (3)-initaly enchanting process turns to an undesirable quality |
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Definition
-Time will tell
-rose colored glasses
-ppl change |
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Term
| What are the predictors of fatal attraction? (3) |
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Definition
-dissimilar quality
-extreme quality
-physical quality |
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Term
| What are the 4 common communicative instigators of conflict? |
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Definition
1. criticism- demeaning
2. llegitimate demands
3. rebuffs- appeals for action; partner fails to respond
4. cumulative annoyances |
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Term
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Definition
| ability to remain constructive in face of lovers temporary disregard, inhibits impulse to fight fire with fire, secures do this best |
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Term
4 conflict tactics
1. V
2. L
3. E
4. N |
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Definition
| 1. voice- active/constructive; discussing; change 2. loyalty- passive/constructive; waiting for improvement 3. exit- active/destructive; leaving; threatening; abuse 4. neglect- passive/destructive; avoid discussion |
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Term
| Way's partner's can end conflict: (5) |
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Definition
1. Separation
2. Domination
3. Compromise
4. Integrative agreements
5. Structural improvement -best outcome |
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Term
| What are the 5 types of power? |
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Definition
1. Reward- give/take away what they like/don't like
2. Coercive- punishment; give what they don't like/withold
3. Legitimate power- est. authority ex: parent/child
4. Expert- informational
5. Referent- charisma; want to be seen with you |
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Term
| What are the 2 dimensions Falbo & Peplau (1980) use to categorize power strategies? |
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Definition
Bilateral/Unilateral
Direct/Indirect |
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Term
| What are the three types of messages related to relational control? |
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Definition
One up - asserts definition of the relationship
One down - yielding, give in
One across- neutral- nothing to do with power |
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Term
| What are the types of hurtful messages as discussed in class? (4) |
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Definition
-accusations- specific behavior or personality characteristics EX: 1CYou 19re a liar. 1D
-evaluations/inform- disregarding how you feel or what you want to do, hurtful EX: 1Cgoing out with you was the biggest mistake of my life. 1D
-directives/commands- EX: 1Cleave me a alone. 1Cquite whining 1D
-Advice- showing they are not the time and fully understanding the situation; implies there is something wrong with you 1CMaybe you should think about going to the gym more often. 1D
first 2 are the most common |
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Term
| What are the 3 general responses to hurtful messages? |
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Definition
1. active verbal
2. aquiescent
3. invunerable |
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Term
| What factors influence our interpretation of hurtful messages? (5) |
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Definition
1. Greater perceived intent
2. lower self esteem
3. preoccupied attachment
4. less satisfaction
5. relational uncertainty |
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Term
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Definition
-Jealousy- negative emotion to real or imagined threat to something you already have
-Envy- you want something somebody else has
-Rivalry- competing for something neither person has |
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Term
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Definition
-Jealousy- negative emotion to real or imagined threat to something you already have
-Envy- you want something somebody else has
-Rivalry- competing for something neither person has |
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Term
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Definition
-Jealousy- negative emotion to real or imagined threat to something you already have
-Envy- you want something somebody else has
-Rivalry- competing for something neither person has |
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Term
| What are the three (mix of) emotions related to jealousy? |
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Definition
hurt, anger, and fear
Hurt- follows from the perception that our partners do not value us enough to honor their commitments to our relationships
Fear & anxiety- result from the dreadful prospect of abandonment and loss.
Anger- being cast aside for someone else gets people angry; usually directed both at the meddelsome rival and the partner who is beginning to stray |
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Term
| What are the 3 main behavioral responses to jealousy as discussed in class? |
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Definition
1. negative affect expression- crying, sad, hurt; not really attacking, just showing that you are upset
2. integrative communication- directive but constructive and non-aggressive. “I’m upset, but let’s resolve.”
3. distributive communication- destructive, accusatory; aggressively confronting them; attacking |
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Term
| Jealousy induction: 2 goals |
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Definition
Relational rewards
Relational revenge |
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Term
| 3 General Responses To Jealousy |
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Definition
1. Withdrawal- silent treatment
2. relational compensation- try to be a better partner
3. aggressive- namecalling, aggression towards 3rd party; minority of responses |
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