Recurring patterns of behavior developed through interaction that family members use to fulfill family functions

Patterns and pre-existing ideas that come from family of origin that have developed over generations

Fulfill family functions

Everybody has a job that helps the family move forward

Involve expectations for behavior

put laundry away, bring dishes to table, etc

Role expectations come about through shared meanings parents have shared meanings first, then teach them to their kids

we develop role guidelines through interactions (shared meanings)

First family function:  gender socialization

Roles are related to gender

Gender is most impacted by family of origin

Gender is a scale (very feminine to very masculine)

Second family function:  nurturing and support

Comm. is the primary way parents communicate caring, love, values, and a sense of community to their children. 

Through advice, directives, and answers to questions, children learn both what their parents and society expect of them. 

It is important for children of both sexes to see the father sharing parental responsibility

Not only do we provide nurturing of children, we provide support and empathy

Third family function:  individual development

When we teach our children to be self-sufficient, well-functioning members of society

When we don’t do this properly, children become super dependent and enmeshed 

Part of this process is encouraging individual choice

Fourth family function:  maintenance and management

Relates to multigenerational maintenance (keeping in touch with grandparents, etc)

Internal/external boundaries are part of maintenance

Also, decision making (on part of parents) and all daily tasks

Fifth family function:  to provide basic resources

Traditional gender roles for parents still very relevant

Although careers are great, sometimes you have to take jobs for which you are overqualified in order to support your family

You do what you have to do for your family

Dual-career couples:  both partners have careers

Dual earner couples:  one has a career, one just has a job

Role appropriation

come from society, media, religion, significant others (ppl who are important to us, role models who can provide us w/ guidance for playing our role)

Also learn role expectations through complementary others:  opposite or reciprocal positions to us (me=wife, my complementary other is hubby)

people who are important to us

provide us with models from which we develop role expectations

those who fulfill reciprocal role functions that directly impact on your role.  

to determine our own role, we compare ourselves to our complementary others

"what are you doing, and what does it say about what I should be doing?"

True:  Role expectations change over time, and involve conflict

As we go through life, we negotiate our role (children AND parents)

Research fact:  couples who take time to debrief and share their work experiences greatly increase their relationship satisfaction. 

It is as simple as asking, “how was your day?”