Term
| Polarized Thinking / All or nothing thinking |
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Definition
| Look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories |
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| Make someone else responsible for your own choices or decisions |
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| Blowing things out of proportion. Thoughts often start with "what if" |
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Term
| Fallacy of Change / Change Fallacy |
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Definition
| Assume people will change to suit you. I am omnipotent. Your happiness depends on others. |
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Definition
| Responsible for everyone else around you. I am omnipotent. Externally Controlled: you see yourself as helpless and a victim, 2) internal control: you are responsible for everyone else's happiness which depends on a) sensitivity to others, b)exaggerated belief in your power to fill those needs, and c) you - not them - are responsible for those needs |
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Definition
| Justify or assume the very worst so you don't have to put the effort in. |
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| Insist your accomplishments or positive qualities do not count. |
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| You reason with feelings, not facts. A general belief that what you feel is true, like if you feel stupid you must BE stupid. |
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| What is "fair" according to you only although two people seldom agree on what fairness is (it is subjective - each person can have their own opinion). "If only" he/she would... |
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| You take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all the positive aspects of a situation. Selective memory or tunnel vision: Looking at only one element of a situation. |
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Term
| Fortune-telling / Mind Reading |
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Definition
| Predict how things are going to turn out; usually thinking it will turn out bad. You make assumptions or snap judgments about others including how they may be feeling toward you. Depends on a process called projection which is based on the belief that people feel and react exactly like you would. |
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Definition
| Fail to take responsibility for your choices, or put the effort in to change. |
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| Conclude things are bad without any definite evidence |
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| Stereotype or view the person/situation is one-dimension by generalizing one or two qualities (in yourself or others). Ignores all contrary evidence. Labeling yourself has negative impact on your self-esteem; labeling others can lead to snap-judgements, relationship problems, and prejudice. |
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| Blow things way out of proportion or shrink their importance |
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| Come to a broad conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. Use words like "all", "no one", "never", "always", "everyone", and "nobody". View a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. Do things that scare you or you fear to overcome this pattern. |
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| Relate everything around you to yourself; or take things personally. Compare yourself with others to test your self-worth. |
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| A victim mentality. Focus on yourself for attention or approval. |
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Term
| Righteousness / Being Right |
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Definition
| Continually prove that your viewpoint is correct / you never make mistakes. Having to be right often makes you hard of hearing. Only interested in defending your own opinion not considering differing opinions. |
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| Inflexible rules about how you and others should act. You judge others or criticize yourself with statements beginning with: "should", "shouldn't", "must", "ought", or "have to". |
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| Viewing the world such that you do the "right thing" in hopes of a reward. You sacrifice and slave while you imagine that you are collecting brownie points to cash in some day. You feel bitter when the reward doesn't come as expected because your heart really isn't in it. |
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