Term
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Definition
| Evaluative and descriptive information about the self, shared intentionally, that another would have trouble finding out without being told. Features include intentionality, choice, personal information, risk, and trust |
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Term
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Definition
| personal facts, usually socially approved characteristics, we make part of our public image |
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Term
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Definition
| assessments, both good and bad, that we make about ourselves, including our personal values and our interests, fears, and concerns |
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Term
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Definition
| information that may sound personal to another person but that is relatively easy for us to tell |
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Term
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Definition
| information we feel we are taking a risk telling another |
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Term
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Definition
| the level of intimacy inherent in a topic |
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Term
| culture in self-disclosure |
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Definition
| Western bias favors openness over privacy and disclosure over withholding information as opposed to other places. Depends on whether it is a high (US) or low-context cultures (China or Japan) |
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Term
| gender and sex effects on self-disclosure |
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Definition
| women seem to self-disclose more than men and also value it more. Differences are rather small |
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Term
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Definition
| the tendency for us to return another's self-disclosure with one that matches it in level of intimacy |
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Term
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Definition
| the tendency to respond in kind to another's self-disclosure |
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Term
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Definition
| explains relational life as full of push-pull tensions resulting from the desire for polar opposites |
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Term
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Definition
| a strategy for dealing with dialectic tensions in a relationship that allows us to choose opposite poles of the dialectic at different times |
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Term
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Definition
| a strategy for dealing with dialectic tensions in a relationship that allows us to isolate separate arenas, such as work and home, for using each pole in the opposition |
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Term
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Definition
| a strategy for dealing with dialectic tensions in a relationship that allows us to choose one of the opposite poles of a dialectic and ignore our need for the other |
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Term
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Definition
| a strategy for dealing with the dialectic tension in a relationship that allows us to synthesize the opposites. Integration can take three forms: neutralizing, disqualifying, and reframing |
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Term
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Definition
| a strategy for coping with dialectic tensions in a relationship that allows us to strike a compromise between the two opposing poles of a diacetic |
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Term
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Definition
| a strategy for coping with dialectic tensions in a relationship by exempting certain topics from discussion |
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Term
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Definition
| issues that are out of bounds for discussion |
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Term
| social penetration theory/model |
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Definition
| a model of self-disclosure and relational development that illustrates how sharing increasingly more personal information intensifies a relationship's intimacy level |
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Term
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Definition
| a dimension of self-disclosure that indicates the number of topics discussed within a relationship |
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Term
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Definition
| a dimension of self-disclosure indicating how much detail we provide about a specific topic |
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Term
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Definition
| people are like onions, they have layers. A person's layers correspond to all the information about them ranging from the most obvious to the most personal |
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Term
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Definition
| a model used to understand the process of self-disclosure consisting of a square with four panels that provides a pictorial representation of how "known" we are to ourselves and others |
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Term
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Definition
| in the johari window, the pane that includes all the information about us that we know and that we have shared with others through disclosures |
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Term
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Definition
| in the jw, the pane that includes the information about ourselves we are aware of but that we have chosen not to disclose |
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Term
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Definition
| in the jw, the pane that includes information others know about us that we are unaware of |
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Term
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Definition
| in the jw, the pane that includes the information that neither we nor others are aware of about ourselves |
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Term
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Definition
| a therapeutic release of tensions and negative emotion as a result of self-dislosing |
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Term
| Other reason people self-disclose |
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Definition
| to improve health by lowering levels of stress which could in turn make us sick both psychologically or physically |
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Term
| individual/relational reasons to self-disclose |
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Definition
| self-awareness, initiate/maintain/escalate relationships |
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Term
| reasons to not self-disclose |
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Definition
| fear of rejection, avoid conflict and protect a relationship, maintain self-image, reduce stress |
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Term
| ways to effectively self-disclose |
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Definition
| I-messages, honesty, consistent verbal and nonverbal communication, be relevant in content and topic, estimate the risks and benefits, be appropriate, estimate the effect of the disclosure |
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Term
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Definition
| the interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from each other in achieving those goals |
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Term
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Definition
| a necessary condition for conflict, given that people involved in conflict rely on each other, need each other, and are in a relationship with each other |
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Term
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Definition
| the psychological process involved in sensing meaning |
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Term
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Definition
| friction results when people's goals differ at the same time that they think others stand in the way of the achievement of personal goals |
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Term
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Definition
| a conflict with another about one's sense of oneself |
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Term
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Definition
| a conflict that revolves around an issue. Also called a substantive conflict |
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Term
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Definition
| an issue outside a relationship that can cause a content conflict |
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Term
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Definition
| an issue related to a relationship that can cause a content conflict |
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Term
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Definition
| a conflict in which the content is specifically about a question of right and wrong |
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Term
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Definition
| a conflict that focuses on issues concerning the relationship between two people |
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Term
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Definition
| conflicts that recur over time in people's everyday lives, without a resolution |
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Term
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Definition
| a conflict about the way a conflict is conducted |
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Term
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Definition
| conflicts come from miscommunication, can be resolved through good communication, best to talk through conflicts |
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Term
| gender and sex influence on conflict |
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Definition
| women often want to talk about relationship issues and men do not. women are more collaborative and men are more competitive in conflict interactions. women have also shown to be more able to tolerate high levels of physiological arousal found in conflict than men |
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Term
| culture influences on conflict |
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Definition
| US defines the word as more broad where it can mean different things. |
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Term
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Definition
| in a conflict, each party choosing to increase the intensity of the conflict |
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Term
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Definition
| in a conflict, neither partner being willing to confront the other |
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Term
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Definition
| in a conflict, a pattern consisting of one party pressing for a discussion about a conflictual topic while the other party withdraws |
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Term
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Definition
| in a conflict, a pattern in which one party withdraws, which prompts the other party to pursue |
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Term
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Definition
| in a conflict, each party mirroring the other's negotiating behaviors |
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Term
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Definition
| a particular form of conflict in which the abuse is persistent and the person being bullied finds it very difficult to defend himself or herself |
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Term
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Definition
| can be physical or psychological. much of the research on this topic focuses on the family |
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Term
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Definition
| depicts conflict as a circle divided into four section that represent the critical parts of any conflict: you, me, the context, and the subject. You refers to one of participants in the conflict and me refers to the other. Context comprises the emotional background surrounding the conflict. Subject means what the parties are arguing about |
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Term
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Definition
| being passive or ignoring our own needs in a conflict |
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Term
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Definition
| responding in an aggressive manner without acknowledging the needs of another person in a conflict |
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Term
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Definition
| disqualifying he emotional aspects of a conflict (the context) and focusing on the rational aspects |
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Term
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Definition
| disqualifying the subject of a conflict by distracting both people in the conflict with behaviors such as laughing, crying, or changing the subject |
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Term
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Definition
| the background that frames a specific conflict |
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Term
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Definition
| the rules, emotions, and beliefs of the individuals involved in a conflict |
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Term
| explanatory process model |
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Definition
| models conflict as a process that occurs in the following episodes: distal context, proximal context, conflict interaction, proximal outcomes, and distal outcomes |
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Term
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Definition
| the point in the conflict process when the differences between two individuals become a problem and one or both people begin to address the issue |
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Term
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Definition
| the immediate results after a conflict interaction |
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Term
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Definition
| the residue of having engaged in a conflict and the feelings that both the participants have about their interaction |
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Term
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Definition
| in interpersonal relationships, the ability to control the behavior of another |
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Term
| direct application of power |
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Definition
| in a conflict situation, the use of any resource at our disposal to compel another to comply, regardless of that person's desires |
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Term
| direct and virtual use of power |
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Definition
| communicating the potential use of a direct application of power |
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Term
| indirect application of power |
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Definition
| employing power without making its employment explicit |
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Term
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Definition
| a message that defines a relationships and implicitly states that the sender has the power to define the relationship |
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Term
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Definition
| a type of power in which one person in a relationship suppresses or avoids decisions in the interest of one of he parties. Also called unobtrusive power |
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Term
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Definition
| helping to actualize our own or another person's power |
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Term
| Choices for conflict management |
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Definition
| reframe, presume and express good will, ask questions, listen, and practice cultural sensitivity |
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Term
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Definition
| a relationship in which the partners are interdependent while accomplishing a specific task, such as a server and a customer at a restaurant |
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Term
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Definition
| a relationships that endures over time and that consists of interdependent partners who satisfy each other's needs for connection and social inclusion, feel an emotional attachment to each other, are irreplaceable to each other, and enact unique communication patterns |
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Term
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Definition
| content, diversity, qualities, intimacy, partners' perception, commitment reflected, and satisfaction expressed |
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Term
| close relationships as cultural performances |
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Definition
| when they are defined by ongoing public and private exchanges. relationships are both defined by and enacted in the culture that surrounds them |
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Term
| relationships as cognitive constructs |
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Definition
| relationship scripts which contain a pattern for the key events we expect in a relationship |
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Term
| relationships as linguistic constructions |
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Definition
| language influences our sense of close relationships because it gives a relationship a label. Sometimes relationships don't have convenient labels |
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Term
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Definition
| compares relationships to living systems, which have six important properties: wholeness, interdependence, hierarchy, boundaries or openness, calibration or feedback, equifinality |
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Term
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Definition
| a principle that states that we can't fully understand a system by simply picking it apart and understanding each of its parts in isolation from one another |
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Term
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Definition
| a principle that states that all relationships are embedded within larger systems |
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Term
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Definition
| a systems principle referring to the fact that hierarchy is formed by creating boundaries around each separate system. However, human systems are inherently open, which means that information passes through these boundaries. Therefore, some researchers call this principle "openness," and some call it "boundaries" |
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Term
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Definition
| the process of systems setting their parameters, checking on themselves, and self-correcting |
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Term
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Definition
| feedback that causes a system to recalibrate and change |
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Term
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Definition
| feedback that causes a system to reject recalibration and stay the same |
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Term
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Definition
| the ability to achieve the same goals (or ends) by a variety of means |
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Term
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Definition
| the tension between our desire to be independent or autonomous while simultaneously wanting to feel a connection with our partner |
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Term
| novelty and predictability |
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Definition
| our simultaneous, opposing desires for excitement and stability in our relationships |
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Term
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Definition
| our desire to criticize a friend as opposed to accepting a friend for who he of she is |
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Term
| affection and instrumentality |
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Definition
| the tension between framing a friendship with someone as an end in itself (affection) or seeing it as a means to another end (instrumentality) |
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Term
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Definition
| the tension between how much of a friendship is demonstrated in public and what parts are kept private |
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Term
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Definition
| the tension between an idealized vision of friendship and the real friends one has |
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Term
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Definition
| come from a different line of thinking than the systems and dialectics approaches |
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Term
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Definition
| those things in relational life that we judge as negative |
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Term
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Definition
| those parts of being in a relationship that we find pleasurable |
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Term
| theory of interdependence |
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Definition
| builds on these assumptions of social exchange theory and adds an ingredient from systems theory - that is, the idea that relationships are interdependent |
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Term
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Definition
| a person's standard level for what types of costs and rewards should exist in a given relationship |
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Term
| comparison level for alternatives |
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Definition
| a comparison of the costs and rewards of a current relationship to the possibility of doing better in a different relationship |
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Term
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Definition
| a situation in which a partner in a relationship believes he or she has a higher power status than the other partner, and so will engage in risky strategies without fearing the costs |
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Term
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Definition
| the first stage in the coming together part of Knapp's model of relationship development, in which two people notice each other that they are interested in making contact |
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Term
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Definition
| a stage in the coming together part of Knapp's model of relationship development in which two people become acquainted by gathering information about each other |
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Term
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Definition
| a stage in the coming together part of Knapp's model of relationship development in which the intimacy between the partners intensifies |
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Term
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Definition
| a stage in the coming together part of Knapp's model of relationship development, in which two partners form a clear identity as a couple |
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Term
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Definition
| the final stage in the coming together part of Knapp's model of relationship development, in which partners make a public commitment to their relationship |
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Term
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Definition
| the first stage in the coming apart section of Knapp's model of relationship development, in which two people begin to notice ways in which they differ |
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Term
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Definition
| a stage in the coming apart section of Knapp's model of relationship development in which two people's communication behaviors are restrained so that fewer topics are raised (for fear of conflict), more issues are out of bounds, and they interact less |
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Term
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Definition
| a stage in the coming apart section of Knapp's model of relationship development in which circumscribing is extended so far that a couple no longer talks much except in the most routinized ways |
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Term
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Definition
| a stage in the coming apart section of Knapp's model of relationship development in which two partners stay away from each other because they feel that being together is unpleasant |
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Term
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Definition
| the last stage in the coming apart section of Knapp's model of relationship development, in which a relationship is ending |
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Term
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Definition
| in relational development, finding out information about a person from a third party |
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Term
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Definition
| putting ourselves in a good position for another to approach us in a social situation |
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Term
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Definition
| providing nonverbal signals that indicate we'd like to initiate contact with another person, such as going up to a person or smiling in the person's direction |
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Term
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Definition
| behaving in a way that keeps an initial conversation going, such as asking questions |
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Term
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Definition
| emphasizing the commonalities we think we share with another person |
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Term
| skills for maintaining relationships |
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Definition
| supportiveness and use of humor |
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Term
| relational transgressions |
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Definition
| negative behaviors in close relationships, such as betrayals, deceptions, and hurtful comments |
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Term
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Definition
| repairing a relationship when it runs into trouble |
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Term
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Definition
| communication about communication |
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Term
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Definition
| a simple statement like " I am really sorry" |
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Term
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Definition
| an explanation for a transgression that may accompany an apology |
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