romantic beliefs scale

problems with previous research

• several previous scales used language or expressed ideas that were dated
• few scales captured the full range of beliefs associated with romance
• some scales confounded romantic beliefs with other types of love

romantic beliefs scale

method

• collected scales, rewrote items, tested over a series of studies with 1152 respondents
• N=730
• they collected demographics, RBS bem's sex role inventory, & several other loves scales in order to compare measures

romantic beliefs scale

descriptions of each belief comprising RBS

• love at first sight
• love finds a way
• one and only love
• idealization (idea that your partner is perfect)

RBS

findings

• RBS is a valid and reliable indicator of the ideology of romanticism
• men report higher total RBS scores than women
• people high in femininity report higher RBS scores than people in low femininity
• findings are consistent with the functionalist perspective
• Note flaws in BSRI

rose colored glasses

falling in love

• may initially "squelch" sexual feelings
• is a selective response to a unique other person
• orientation is to the whole person

rose colored glasses

description of falling into lust

• sexual desire
• non-selective
• orientation is to the object or part, rather than the whole person

rose colored glasses

results for study 1

"in love"

• more erotic & agapic
• less ludic
• less permissive & instrumental in sex attitudes
• lower self-monitoring
• lower sensation-seeking

rose colored glasses

results for study 1

women found to be:

•  more storgic
• more pragmatic
• less ludic
• less permissive in sex attitudes
• lower sensation seeking
• no manic

metts: redefining romantic relationships

description of characteristics of relationship prior to decline

• friends before dating seem more likely to be able to re-establish friendship
• friends more likely to choose "scale down", non friends choose "full  break"
• friends have a "foundation" and may have a "script"
• relationships with high level of emotional & psychological involvement may be more likely to maintain friendship, compared to low involvement couples

metts: redefining romantic relationships

3 choices when faced with dissatisfying relationship & ducks work

• endure
• terminate
• redefine
• ducks work suggests that strategy accounts for 17% of variance

metts: redefining romantic relationships

disengagement strategies

• de-escalation
  • reduce intensity & commitment
  • more likely to remain friends
• justification
  • express reasons for breakup
• avoidance
  • avoid all contact

*all strategies do not exist in a vacuum

metts: redefining romantic relationships

influence of emotion

• equity theory
  • under-benefited--> anger
  • over-benefited-->guilt
• schwartz & shaver suggest emotions are caused by "percieved unfairness"

metts: redefining romantic relationships

influence of gender (sex)

• research  by hill, suggests that couples are more likely to stay friends if men initiate breakup or if it was mutual
• 70% of couples remain friends when men initiates breakup
• men have more difficulty letting go of love

metts: redefining romantic relationships

strategies: reported by both initiator and recipient

• withdrawal
• positive tone
• manipulation
• directness

metts: redefining romantic relationships

results for initiator

• 3 variables significantly predicted friendship
  • withdrawal strategy (b=-.40)
  • previous friendship (b=.19)
  • feeling under benefited (b=-.23)
• no effect for sex, involvement or emotions

metts : redefining romantic relationships

results for recipient

• 3 variables
  • positive tone (b=.36)
  • previous friendship(b.=21)
  • manipulation (b=.14)
• no effect for sex, involvement or emotions

routine maintenence behaviors

4 purposes

• extend existing typologies
• compare dating and married couples
• examine similarity between partners responses
• examine sex differences

routine maintenence behaviors

distinction between strategy and routine behaviors

• "strategy" implies intention
• routine behaviors take place at a lower level of consciousness
  • lack of central processing
  • taken for granted behaviors
• routine maintenence behavior is NOT used intentionally for maintenance purposes
  • sole funtion or goal is NOT to maintain relationship

routine maintenence behaviors

previous definitions

• tatics designed to make one more likeable to partner
• strategies used for preventative and corrective purposes
• efforts by partners to sustain satisfactory relational definition

routine maintenence behaviors

method

• self report survey data
• n=243 couples, dating and married
• m=31.9 years old, 13.5 yrs married, 2.4 years dating
• "provide examples of behaviors used to maintain your relationship"
• "describe the routine things you do"

routine maintenence behaviors

results

12 categories of behaviors-top 5 categories

• top 5 categories
  • sharing tasks
  • proactive & prosocial
  • sharing time
  • favors and gifts
  • self-disclosure

routine maintence behaviors

results

h1

• h1 was not supported
  • only significant differences between dating and married couples was that dating reported more mediated communication, married reported more shared tasks
• couples more similar than different in their use of maintenence behaviors

routine maintenence behaviors

results

women different from men in routine use of 4 behaviors

• positivity
• talk
• openness
• anti-social behaviors

emotion

two common indicators of closeness

• magnitude of affect
• hedonic sign of affect

emotion

4 quadrants of closeness

• high & positive affect
  • most people would describe this as a close relationship
• high & negative affect
  • tends to be extremely stable relationship, seperation from partner highlights feelings
• low & positive affect
  • stable, has been through the test, usually long term relationship
• low & negative
  • occasionally you annoy me, you can be annoyed with something, but when its gone you might miss it

emotion

4 common elements shared by theories of emotion

• evolutionary perspective (you have to explain how emotion is a rational mechanism for survival)
• physiological component
  • james lange-experience something exciting, viscera start activating (different viscera activate different emotions)
  • cannon- viscera are relatively insensitive structures that are going through the same physiology but different emotional stages
• cognitive component
  • schachter's 2 requirements (you have physiological arousal to something, but make sense of the setting you are in)
    • percieve the arousal
    • label the emotion
      • cognitive evaluation
• the continuous feedback loop among components of emotional experience

emotion

mandler's theory of emotion

ANS, CIS

• ANS is comprised of sympathetic & parasympathetic nervous systems
  • "s" for sympathetic, parasymphatic is what calms you down
• ANS arousal has physiological & psychological adaptive importance
  • 2 functions- works as an alarm: making you focus attention (psychological), and preparing your body (physiological) backup warning system (ANS)
• CIS organizes past information so we can interpret new information

emotion

mandler's theory of emotion

meaning analysis

•  
  • complexity of the structures
  • state of the person at the time stimulus comes into play

emotion

mandler's theory of emotion

stop rule

• once youve made a decision, you stop your meaning analysis. once you make a decision you stop analyzing
  • series of actions that are emitted as a whole

emotion

mandlers theory of emotion

• hierarchy of sequences
• golden rule
• 3 steps that occur during onset of emotional experience

hierarchy of sequences

• golden rule-interruption is a necessary condition for ANS arousal
• 3 steps- 1. ANS fires 2. focus attention 3. conduct meaning analysis

emotions

emotional investment

• the degree to which you are vulnerable to interruptions from events in the other persons chain
• potential to experience emotion from another person
• both interruptive and facilitative connections
• amount of emotion experienced is associated with only the interfering connections
• the paradox is that the more meshed up you are, the less you will experience emotion on a daily basis (it will require radically deviany behavior)

emotions

2 explanations for emotionally tranquil relationships

• all connections are facilitative
• there are no connections

emotions

implications for conflict and attention

conflict

• no interest in partners activities. ex: i cant talk about ex-gf anymore because we always fight
• run risk of emotionally gutting relationship
• be careful about what you resolve

emotion

implications for conflict and attention

attention

• if everything is meshed, less emotion
• attractive co-worker/stranger, no reason for you to focus emotion on that partner

emotion

fundamental paradox of positive emotion

• control hypothesis: ex: cover eyes during movie
• ex: waiting in line for rollercoaster, can leave whenever
  • when individual has no control over the onset or the offset of the interrupting stimulus, will be negative emotions

emotions

applications for conflict-habituated couples

conflict-habituated interactions :

• stability of relationship
• if conflict is a habit then it is not interruptive
• fighting has become meshed and no not threaten the partners or relationship

emotions

applications for jealousy

• it is a "normal" emotion
• mixture of fear and anger ex: ex bf or gf- angry and fear of losing
• more meshed couples more vulnerable to jealousy
• alternative- "good mesh" is more threatening, ex: best friend is a lot like you, and its more threatening

jealousy

definition

the emotional reaction to a percieved threat to an existing relationship

or a protective reaction to a perceived threat to a valued relationship

jealousy

distinctions between jealousy, rivalry and envy

• jealousy stems from perceptions of threat to an existing relationship
• envy stems from desiring something that someone else has
• rivalry occurs when two people compete for something

jealousy

tesser's SEM and BIRGing

• tesser's self evaluation maintenence model
• strong feelings of envy highly likely when close other succeeds in an area that is important to you
• BIRGing of somebody else (area that isn't as close to you)- feel happy for them

jealousy

causes of jealousy

• investment discrepancy/inequity
• dependency on relationship
• desire for sexual exclusivity

jealousy

pfeiffer & wong's MJS findings

• described three cognitive components of jealousy
  • cognitive, emotional and behavorial
• findings
  • liking associated with lower levels of jealousy compared to loving

jealousy

stages of experiencing jealousy

jealousy

table 10.4/ gender findings

• men and women have different concerns when it comes to jealousy. diff ways of coping
• women think about not being able to find another partner/no one will want me
• women are more likely to attempt to induce jealousy
• men are more likely to experience the "rooster effect"--> anger when other men cut them out of an interantion with a woman (p282)
• men deny jealousy

jealousy

hansens work

findings

jealousy

hansens work

implications

implications

• opposite sex friendship expectations
  • both male and female uncomfortable with opposite sex friendship
    • expect them to give up friendship

jealousy

hansens work

time expectations

jealousy

hansens work

sexual expectations

betrayal

two major psychological dangers of intimacy and distinctions between the two

• BETRAYAL AND REJECTION-distinction between the two:
  • rejection occurs faily early in the acquaintanceship process
  • betrayal can occur at any point in a relationship
  • betrayal has a greater potential for psychological damage
  • betrayal often means that you have lost something that you have invested into a relationship
  • they suggest that betrayal arises from problems with expectations, commitment or trust

betrayal

relationship expectations

• most basic aspect of any relationship
• global (or general) expectations apply to any relationship
• specific expectations arise from patterns in a particular relationship
• violation of expectations may result in feelings of betrayal

betrayal

commitment

betrayal

trust

• most important and satisfying relatnioships are characterized by trust
• trust is the ability to rely on partner to do what is promised and to be faithful
• trust is also the ability to self-disclose and be yourself without fear
• loss of trust linked to betrayal

betrayal

IBS findings

• ibs scores tend to be higher (more likely to betray) among:
  • young
  • less educated
  • divorced
  • white
  • non-religious
  • children of divorce
  • children of alcoholics
• self reported betrayal was unrelated to marital satisfaction for either men or women (you were betrayer)
• marital satisfaction and commitment unrelated to spouses betrayal scores for either husbands or wives *cant predict*

betrayal

types of betrayal

infidelity

description of attitudes toward marraige and infedelity

• attitudes toward marriage and infedelity change with the times
• primary focus of this study is to examine the relationship between inequity and extramarital sexual desires & behaviors

infedelity

equity theory

• suggests that people compare their input/output ratio to a relevant comparison other's input/output ratio
• inequity leads to feelings of distress
• inequity is the reason that drives us to cheat

infidelity

3 reasons why under-benefited seek extramarital involvement

• restoration of actual equity
  • get even by having affair, increase your rewards and decrease partners rewards by inducing jealousy
• leaving the field
  • affair is a disengagement strategy
• equity with the world
  • deprived person is entitled to seek compensation elsewhere for inequitable relationship in another relationship

infidelity

reason why over benefited seek extramarital involvement

• because they desire equity
  • inequality is aversive
• so that they can justify their current over-benefited status
  • affair proves that they deserve to be over-benefited

infidelity

variables

• exchange orientation
  • degree of tolorance for reciprocity
• sexual satisfaction
• AIDS disapproval
• normative disapproval
  • moral disapproval of cheating

infidelity

findings

• women had a stronger exchange orientation that did men
• women felt more under benefited
• men felt more overbenefited
• men reported higher scores in relational satisfaction
• men had a stronger desire to engage in EMS
• actual EMS behavior didnt diffet between men & women
• aids disapproval didnt influence or desire actual EMS
  • FOR MEN:
  • normative disapproval was the only variable that influenced actual behavior
  • exchange orientation did not influence EMS desire or behavior
  • FOR WOMEN:
  • normative disapproval & relationship satisfaction influenced actual EMS behavior
  • exchange orientation influenced both EMS desire and behavior