Develop Relationships to fulfill needs:

Inclusion, affection and control (Schutz)

Lesson loneliness, Secure stimulation, gain self knowledge/self esteem, maximize pleasure/ minimize pain  (DeVito)

Variability

Duration

Frequency

• Duration - How long relationship lasts

• Frequency- How often we interact/ have contact with that person

Low duration - High frequency (teacher/ Classmates)

High duration- High frequency (Mate/ Spouse)

High Duration- low frequency (Parents) 

Low duration- Low frequency (acquaintances ie bus driver) 

Variability

Duration

Frequency

Meshing

Support

Proximity- changing because of tech

Dynamic/ Dialectical Tensions

Initiating- Context, Positive info , open ended questions, low self disclosure

Experimenting

Intensifying

Integrating

Bonding - marriage, contract/ partnership

Contact   (initiating)

Involvement (Experimenting)

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Intimacy (Bonding)

Deterioration

Repair

Dissolution

Uncertainty Reduction Theory

Berger & Calabrese, 1975

Premise: The more we know the more we like, the more intimacy we have toward the 'other'

• Predicts that higher uncertainty deters intimacy and liking

• Low uncertainty creates intimacy and liking (positive affect)

Premise: Relationships intimacy level depends on the increased depth and breadth of communication topics, Self disclosure

Depenetration: As a relationship moves away from intimacy, relationship depth and breadth decrease

Relationship Dialectics Theory/ Tensions

Premise: There are opposing forces (dialectical tensions) with in relationships

• Intimacy and Autonomy
• Novelty and Predictability
• Openness and Closeness

Focuses on our tendency (to move) toward another person due to:

• Physical Appearance: 
• Proximity: 
• Similarity:

We are more likely to interact with ppl who are attractive

More important for males than females

Related to how enjoyable we find the person/ interaction

Interdependent Dimensions:

• Task: attracted based on our desire to work with them
• Social: fun to be with
• Physical Appearance: they are attractive

Greatest predictors of initial Interaction

Allows us to reduce uncertainty

mere exposure seems to increase attraction

Relationship development is more likely if we have relational symmetry

Matching Hypothesis - Date marry and have friends who are at the same level of attractiveness that we are

Similarity in Attitudes

Opposites attract?

We are attracted to people who posses characteristics that we do not posses and actually envy them

Research supports symmetry 

but Complementarity in need 

Affinity seeking strategies ( Bell and Daly)

• Helping
• Positive Regard

Premise: We develop relationships with those who reward us and avoid / end relationships that do not reward us

Reward/ punishments are relative to the individual

• Social Exchange Theory
• Equity Theory

Social Exchange Theory

(Thibaut and Kelly)

Premise: We seek relationships which will maximize profit (reward) and minimize cost (punishment)

Reward - Cost = Profit

Comparison Levels

We compare our realistic expectations of what we deserve from a relationship to what we're actually getting

Equity Theory

(Walster, Walster & Berscheid)

Premise: We seek a balance of rewards and costs

• Dissatisfaction occurs if either party gets more out of/ puts more in than the other

• The more we contrubute the more we expect

• Equity is highly correlated with satisfaction and endurance in US

Short Term: Fun, Interesting, Peaceful, Affectionate, amusement, appearance, presence, 

Long Term: Amusement, faithfulness, twosome, frankness, affection, unspoken rules, recognition, averaging