Term
|
Definition
- deny close relationships
- Characteristics: distrust of others, heavy self-reliance, minimize expressions of distrust, minimize self-disclosure |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
Characteristics: heightened emotions, high distress at threats to relationship, clingy behavior, heavy reassurance skeeking
AKA Amanda
comes from inconsistencies in caregiving |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
1. dependability: belief that partner is concerned with one's needs and can be counted on
2. faith: belief in teh strength of the relationship and its ability to endure in the future |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| as trust deepens, your partner's motivation for actions, as opposed to the actions, are most important |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
rewards recieved outside the relationship (that are mediated by the relationshio)
i.e. social opportunities |
|
|
Term
| instrumental motivations (for relationship involvement) |
|
Definition
explicit rewards garnered from relationship
i.e. praise, sex, support |
|
|
Term
| intrinsic motivations (for relationship involvment) |
|
Definition
shared enjoyments, sense of warmth, closeness probided by relationship, joy of making the partner happy
* relates to self-expansion model |
|
|
Term
| gender differences in trust |
|
Definition
men: trust more rooted in faith, feelings of love are most closely tied to intrinsic motivations
women: balenced between faith and dependability, love is closely tied to instrinsic AND instrumental motives |
|
|
Term
| secure attachment and trust |
|
Definition
- intimacy is the main goal of trust
- response to violations: talking
|
|
|
Term
| insecure avoident attachment and trust |
|
Definition
control is the main goal of trust
response: distancing oneself |
|
|
Term
| ambivalent attachment and trust |
|
Definition
security is main goal of trust- often unwililng to leave (despite abuse)
response: worrying |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
need for conviction that partner is "right" for them
this need leads to positive idealizations that reduce uncertainty |
|
|
Term
| uncertainty reduction model |
|
Definition
| people engage in certain steps and checkpoints in order to reduce uncertainty about each other and form an idea of whether one likes or dislikes the other |
|
|
Term
| ways to reduce uncertainty |
|
Definition
- tying vices to virtues
- elevating virtue / reducing fault w/ if/then or but
- misinterpreting partner's attraction to others
- ignoring other potential partners
- positive idealization of partner
- assuming great similarity |
|
|
Term
| what does idealization predict |
|
Definition
- concurrent relationship satisfaction
- increases in satisfaction, decreases in conflict & ambivalence
- greater relationship stability over time
- perception of ability to overcome conflict/adversity
|
|
|
Term
|
Definition
1. love finds a way
2. there is one true love
3. true love is -nearly- perfect
4. love at first sight |
|
|
Term
| romanticism is accociated with |
|
Definition
- concurrent relationship satisfaction, love, and committment
NOT accociated with stability of relationship |
|
|
Term
| 2 relationship orientations |
|
Definition
1. growth orientation- good relationships are accomplished thru hard work
2. destiny orientation- relationships are meant to be, or not |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| we are attracted to those attracted to us |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| the more similar we see others to ourselves, the more attracted we are |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| expectation of length of relationship affects attraction and initiation |
|
|
Term
| 3 basic principles of attraction/initiation |
|
Definition
| reciprocity, similarity, expectations |
|
|
Term
| classic realist approach to attraction/initiation |
|
Definition
| objective qualities are measured and elicit attraction from perceivers |
|
|
Term
| classic realism/evolutionary psychology |
|
Definition
mans attraction to a women is a product of how he views her reproducibility
of man to provide offspring
womens attraction is based on perceived |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| active proudction process (initiation)) is generatetd from perciever that then influencesc the mind ( late night at a var- people go home with others) |
|
|
Term
| online relationship charactertistics |
|
Definition
- physical appearance is not a gating feature
- greater ability to find people similar to you
- less ambiguity :: same expecations |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| a person's stay/leave decisions are determined by commitment, not satisfaction |
|
|
Term
| 3 variables that make up commitment |
|
Definition
satisfaction
quality of alternatives
investment |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| product of: rewards, costs, baseline expectations |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| dating other people, spending time along- other options compared to dating one person |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| resources that have already been committed into the relationship |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| put directly in- time, money, emotional effort |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| resources that become tied to relationship: friends, memories, etc |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| commitment = satisfaction + investment - quality of alternatives |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
commitment is high enough to stay even though satisfaction is low
why? b/c quality of alternatives is low, and investment is high |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| instances that indirectly provide a person with info about their partners broader goals, values, and motives |
|
|
Term
| four motivations for having sex |
|
Definition
1. physical reasons
2. goal attainment
3. emotional
4. insecurity |
|
|
Term
| 4 scales linking love & sex |
|
Definition
1. love is most important
2. sex demonstrates love
3. love comes before sex
4. sex is declining |
|
|
Term
| variables associated with infidelity |
|
Definition
people with more permissive sexual values are more likely to cheat
little religiousity = extramarital sex
opportunities correlated with extramarital sex- frequent travel, large city |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
reseources channeled to someone other than primary partner
results in: helpless, depressed, insecure, and abandoned |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
sexual engagement with someone other than primary partner
results in: humiliation, shock, hostility, repulsion |
|
|
Term
| gender differences in infidelity |
|
Definition
mens are more likely to be sexual
womens are more emotionally driven
men are more likely to break-up with sexually unfaithful |
|
|
Term
| predictors of break-up following cheating |
|
Definition
- degree of involvement (flirting vs. sex)
- manner cheating was discovered (confess > getting caught)
- attribution (dissatisfaction vs. whim)
- more permissive sex values = less likely to break up |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| change whereby one becomes less motivated to think, feel, and behave negatively in regard to the cheater |
|
|
Term
| true or false, forgiveness is a process |
|
Definition
|
|
Term
| what 2 components make up forgiveness |
|
Definition
1. acting with goodwill towards offender (benevolence)
2. not retaliating/withdrawing |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| one has overcome anger but fails to show this through his/her behavior |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| one has overcome anger but fails to show this through his/her behavior |
|
|
Term
| 3 relationships between initiation and dissolution |
|
Definition
- friends before = more likely to remain
- more painful breakup if the person was highly compatible
- qualities initially liked can contribute to break up ie successful---> workaholic |
|
|
Term
| 4 relationships between investment and dissolution |
|
Definition
1. more investment = greater distress when it ends
2. poor quality of altern. = greater distress
3. higher satisfaction = greater distress
4. higher commitment = most powerful predictor of distress |
|
|
Term
leaving vs. left
more distressing to be left for 3 reasons |
|
Definition
1. feel like life events are not under your control
2. nonmutuality of alternatives
3. time to emotionally divest |
|
|
Term
| breakups are most painful for those with which attachment style? |
|
Definition
|
|
Term
| crisis-growth pathway to growth |
|
Definition
| - traumatic events (breakup) alters worldview/beliefs, forces adjustment |
|
|
Term
| stress-relief pathway to growth |
|
Definition
breakup is not a stressful event, rather, it represents the end of miserable/abusive partnership & better life alone
common in abusive relationships |
|
|
Term
| gender differences in divorce |
|
Definition
|
|
Term
| common domains of positive change |
|
Definition
- better regulation of emotions
- more self confidence
- improved partner selection
- increased wisdom about relationships
- improved friendships |
|
|
Term
| common domains of negative change |
|
Definition
- harder to trust
- decreased self-esteem
- negative impact on friendship
- ruminating about ex-partner |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| negative cycle of verbal and nonverbal communication |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
tit for tat
I did this, so you do this |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| example: wife raises and presses an issue, husband avoids the answer by withdrawing |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
criticism
defensiveness
contempt
stonewalling |
|
|
Term
| behavioral couples therapy based on |
|
Definition
| reinforcement- tries to improve satisfaction by reinforcing positives and reducing punishment |
|
|
Term
| behavioral couples therapy 3 parts |
|
Definition
1. behavior exchange
-- ID'ing positive behaviors
-- practices these positive behaviors
-- acknowledging them
2. communication training
-- expression w/out blame, active listening
3. problem solving: define problems & generate solutions- compromising |
|
|
Term
| cognitive behavioral couple therapy goal |
|
Definition
| help couples identify their thoughts that are associated with marital discord, test validity of them, MODIFY MALADAPTIVE THOUGHTS |
|
|
Term
| emotionally focused couple therapy based |
|
Definition
in attachment theory
-- relationship distress represents failure of an attachment to provide a secure base
primary vs. secondary emotions |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| helping couples get in touch with their primary emotions, and expressing those to their partners rather than letting secondary emotions (angry withdrawl responses) and reactions |
|
|
Term
| gender differences in jealousy |
|
Definition
men= more jealous of sexual infidelity
women= more jealous of emotional |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
| fear of being supplanted in the affection of a beloved person |
|
|
Term
| four main dimensions of jealousy |
|
Definition
personal vs. impersonal causality (due to person or chance/fate)
controllability vs. uncontrollability (did person have control)
controllability vs. responsibility (even if the person had control, what is their fault?)
intent vs. negligence (intent to harm??) |
|
|
Term
| opportunity cost (reason for rejection) |
|
Definition
| to accept one offer is to forgo all other potential offers |
|
|
Term
| mate value (reason for rejection) |
|
Definition
| people attracted to those with higher overall mate value than themselves |
|
|
Term
| gender differences (reason for rejection) |
|
Definition
|
|
Term
|
Definition
guilt
- had to hurt someone
- concern about leading someone on
to reduce guilt- will disparage and devalue would-be lover |
|
|
Term
|
Definition
|
|
