Term
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Definition
1) relationship issues
2) negative experiences
3) relationship experiences
4) sexual experiences
5) dangerous behavior
6) religion/ politics
7) finances |
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Term
| Motivations for Topic Avoidance |
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Definition
- relational based
- individual based
- information based |
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Term
| relational based motivations for topic avoidance |
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Definition
| protection & disengagement |
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Term
| individual based motivations for topic avoidance |
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Definition
| identity management & privacy |
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Term
| information based motivations for topic avoidance |
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Definition
| anticipated unresponsiveness/ unhelpfullness & futility of discussion |
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Term
| Topic avoidance and satisfaction |
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Definition
theory =as topic avoidance increases, satisfaction decreases
research= curvilinear relationship |
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Term
| Negative Consequences of secrets |
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Definition
- power imbalances
- stress/ hyper-accessibility
- encourages concealment of relational problems
- encourages deception
- changes in communication
- split loyalties |
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Term
| Positive Consequences of secrets |
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Definition
- autonomy
- cohesion among secret keepers |
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Term
| Criteria for secret revealing |
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Definition
| intimate change, exposure, urgency, acceptance, security, never |
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Term
| Negative Consequences of revealing |
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Definition
- reduction of boundaries
- listener betrayal
- possible negative reactions |
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Term
| Positive Consequences of revealing |
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Definition
reduction in phys/ psych stress
resolution of secret |
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Term
| Kelly & McKillop on revealing secrets |
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Definition
1) Find a confidant (trustworthy, non-judgmental, new perspective)
2) Secret must be troubling
3) Write it down |
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Term
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Definition
| the degree of predictability regarding others' behaviors and cognitions |
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Term
| Events that increase uncertainty |
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Definition
- personality change
- competing relationships
- loss of contact/ closeness
- deception
- betraying confidence |
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Term
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Definition
1) Self
2) Partner
3) Relationship (status) |
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Term
| Relational Turbulence Model |
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Definition
1) transition from casual to serious
2) Turbulence
- interference by partner, more involved activities, affect each other more, stepping on toes, life incorporation, uncertainty |
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Term
| What is greater uncertainty linked with in dating? (result of uncertainty) |
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Definition
| greater re-activity, more negative reactions, more avoidance of communication about irritations, perceive interactions as more difficult, greater jealousy, more negative emotions |
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Term
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Definition
| people who need status information most are the least able to obtain it |
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Term
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Definition
- protection of face/ relational damage
- excitement & novelty
- occasion to affirm commitment |
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Term
| 4 instigators of conflict |
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Definition
1) Criticism
2) Illegitimate demands
3) Rebuffs
4) Cumulative Annoyance |
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Term
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Definition
| verbal or nonverbal acts the judge and communicate dissatisfaction with partner |
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Term
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Definition
| requests that seem unjust because they exceed the normal expectations of the relationship |
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Term
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Definition
| one partners' appeals for a desired reaction is not met |
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Term
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Definition
| trivial events that become irritating with repetition (social allergies) |
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Term
| dimensions that characterize conflict styles |
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Definition
1) Passive Vs. Assertive
2) Cooperative vs. Uncooperative |
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Term
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Definition
1) Accommodating (P/C)
2) Avoiding (P/U)
3) Competing (A/U)
4) Collaborating (A/C)
5) Compromising |
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Term
| Gottman's 4 couple conflict styles |
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Definition
Volatile
Validators
Avoiders
Hostiles |
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Term
| Accommodating conflict style |
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Definition
Passive Cooperative
high concern for others
"walked all over"
giving into conflict |
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Term
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Definition
Passive Uncooperative
low concern for self and others
deny and avoid issues and confrontation |
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Term
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Definition
Assertive Uncooperative
high concern for self
emphasis on winning, maximizing gains, and being right |
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Term
| Collaborating conflict style |
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Definition
Assertive Cooperative
high concern for self and others
win-win, open minded communication and solutions |
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Term
| Volatile couple conflict style |
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Definition
| frequent, passionate, persuasive arguments with high levels of anger, wit and fondness |
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Term
| Validating couple conflict style |
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Definition
| polite fights with empathy and understanding |
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Term
| Avoider couple conflict style |
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Definition
| avoid conflict and confrontation, don't discuss issues |
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Term
| Hostile couple conflict style |
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Definition
| nasty discussion, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, withdrawal, oppressiveness |
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Term
| Factors that affect the course of a conflict |
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Definition
-Attributions
- Emotional flooding
- Communication skills (argumentative vs. aggressive) |
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Term
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Definition
- One person approaches other with a problem; other withdraws
- typically women are demanders and men are withdrawers |
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Term
| Carl Rusbult and Accommodation |
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Definition
| Accommodation = when partners react with calm forbearance to provocation |
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Term
| Carl Rusbult types of responses to conflict |
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Definition
1) Voice= active constructive discussion and behavior change
2) Loyalty= constructive passive patience for problem resolution
3) Neglect= destructive passive avoidance, interdependence reduction
4) Exit= destructive active withdrawal/ leaving, threats to leave, and abuse |
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Term
| When is conflict destructive? |
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Definition
- results in verbal/ physical attacks
- conflict viewed as unilateral NOT shared
- not resolved |
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Term
| When is conflict constructive |
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Definition
viewed as
- inevitable
- transactional
- issue oriented |
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Term
| What determines level of power individuals have in a relationship |
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Definition
| Person least interested in maintaining has more power |
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Term
| Social Exchange Theory and power |
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Definition
- access to resources
- time control
- desire for resources
- availability of alternatives |
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Term
| French & Raven 5 types of power |
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Definition
1) reward/ coercive power
2) legitimate power
3) referent power
4) expert power
5) informational power |
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Term
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Definition
One person's ability to give other rewards or punishments
ex: when a husband wants massage, wife has power to reward or not |
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Term
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Definition
| partners believe in a reasonable right to tell other what to do and other is obligated to comply |
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Term
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Definition
partner recognizes superior knowledge and experience of other and thus complies
ex: when one partner is a better cook |
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Term
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Definition
when we have specific information that will influence partner behavior
ex: sharing gossip |
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Term
| Flbo & Peplau power dimensions |
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Definition
1) direct vs. indirect
2) bilateral vs. unilateral |
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Term
| Filbo & Peplau power categories |
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Definition
1) Direct and Bilateral = most effective: bargain, discuss, reason
2) indirect bilateral= saving face: pos. affect & suggestions
3) Direct Unilateral= ask, state importance, tell
4) Indirect unilateral= punishes/ coerces partner: Neg. affect & withdrawal |
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Term
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Definition
typically females;
1) use of qualifiers with effect of de-intensifying message ("MAYBE we should...")
2) Hedges/ Disclaimers ("but", "in my opinion")
3) Tag Questions ("Don't you think?") |
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Term
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Definition
| focus on self, dominating conversation and frequent interruption |
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Term
| Nonverbal ways to exhibit power |
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Definition
- Spatial behavior
- facial/ eye expressions (staring)
- body movements
- touch
- vocalics
- time (making other wait) |
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Term
| Explanations for unrequited love |
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Definition
1) falling upward (you're a 5 and they're an 8)
2) platonic friendship
3) beginning stages of romantic relationship (increases for one, decreases for other) |
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Term
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Definition
- give up passively
- actively try to win other's love (norm) |
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Term
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Definition
- reject love
- play along (false hope) |
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Term
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Definition
| decrease self-esteem and embarrassment |
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Term
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Definition
| boost in self-esttem and guilt |
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Term
| Pursuer Rejecter perceptions |
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Definition
1) reciprocity greater for persuer
2) leading on greater for pursuer
3) explicit communication greater for rejecter
4) pursuer persistence greater for rejecter |
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Term
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Definition
| becoming disenchanted with quality that was initially appealing |
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Term
| Most common Types of Fatal Attraction |
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Definition
- Nice to passive
- Strong to Stubborn
- Funny to Flaky
- Outgoing to over the top
- caring to clingy |
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Term
| Why does fatal attraction occur |
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Definition
1) Time
2) "rose-colored" glasses
3) People change |
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Term
| Predictors of fatal attraction |
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Definition
Dissimilar Quality (opposites attract)
Extreme Quality (different from norm)
Physical Quality (attractiveness) |
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Term
| Factors that influence interpretation of hurtful messages |
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Definition
1) Self (self-esteem & attachment)
2) Other (percieved intent & tendency to hurt)
3) Relationship (satisfaction, commitment and uncertainty) |
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Term
| What leads to greater experience of hurt |
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Definition
- greater perceived intent
- lower self esteem
- preoccupied attachment
- less satisfaction
- more uncertainty |
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Term
| What is associated with more relational distancing |
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Definition
- lower self-esteem
- insecure attachment
- frequent hurt |
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Term
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Definition
| negative emotional experience to real or imagined threat of loss |
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Term
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Definition
| wanting something that someone else has |
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Term
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Definition
| competing for something another person has |
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Term
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Definition
Dependence
Lower self-esteem
Attachment style( preocc/ insecure)
Value sexual exclusivity
Traditional gender roles |
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Term
| 3 emotions related to jealousy |
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Definition
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Term
| 3 Behavioral responses to jealousy |
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Definition
1)Negative affect expressions= NV emotions like crying or anxious behaviors
2) Integrative communication = more indirect
3) Distributive communication= more direct/ confrontation; aggression/ defensiveness |
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Term
| Major goals of Jealousy INDUCTION |
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Definition
1)relational rewards (improve)
2)relational revenge (teach lesson) |
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Term
| Responses to jealousy induction |
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Definition
- withdrawal (distancing)
- relational compensation (fixing what was lacking)--> improves
- aggression |
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Term
| Double edged sword of jealousy |
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Definition
| seemingly stems from insecurity and can cause defensiveness of partner, but might also show love and appreciation, offer an opportunity to (re)affirm commitment and add "spark" |
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Term
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Definition
| when someone gets jealous in response to a threat |
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Term
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Definition
| when one's partner has not misbehaved and suspicions to not fit facts |
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Term
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Definition
1) Self-reliance= "stay cool"
2) Self-bolstering= boosting your own self-esteem |
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Term
| Evolutionary Psych, sex differences and infidelity |
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Definition
- Males are more upset by sexual infidelity because of off-spring threat
- females more upset by emotional infidelity |
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Term
| Infidelity: Research vs. hypothetical |
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Definition
| hypothetical situations result in higher incidence claims of relationship termination |
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Term
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Definition
-sex
-lower initial ages
-number of previous partners
-cohabitating & dating
-marriage dissatisfaction
insecure attachment styles (F=preoc; M=avoidant)
-income |
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Term
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Definition
1) unsolicited from partner
2) solicited from partner
3) "red-handed"
4) unsolicited from third-party
[moving down list decreases relational quality, forgiveness and stability] |
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Term
| Negative outcomes of infidelity |
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Definition
- loss of trust
- decreased sexual confidence
- damaged self-esteem
- emotional problems
- relational problems
- legal consequences |
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Term
| Positive outcomes of infidelity |
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Definition
- closer relationship
- increased assertiveness
- higher value placed on relationship/ family |
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