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| I should have listened to my numerologist. She said to stay out of Westchester County. It adds up to death and decay. |
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| Poor Marjorie. She had so many things to live for. Though at the moment, I can't think of a single one. |
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| I fear Elsa has brought the stage door slasher to Chappaqua. |
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You think? It couldn't just be someone who wanted Marjorie dead? The Shuberts, maybe? |
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| That's the sixty four dollar question. |
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| Elsa probably used too much salt. |
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| You put salt in hot chocolate? |
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| Sure. Should only be a tad, of course, but it really gives it some snap. |
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| You mean there could be someone missing who wasn't here in the first place? |
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| I just got the new second act opener. Give me a pen! That is so annoying! |
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What I mean is, they were dressed like ballet dancers. As if it were some kind of audition or act. |
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| Anyone want to hear the new lyric? I think I've caught the real flavor of Washington with it. It's called "Ways, Means and Mischief." I'll take it from the chorus. |
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| I do not steal from Jerome Kern! |
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| Well, I for one do not think we should let Elsa alone in the kitchen with Helsa. |
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| Wait a second, Ken, I want to read you the new second act opening. |
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| Personally, I thought what we had originally was fine. |
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| We can't just stand here and do nothing. |
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| Well, it used to be the music room, see, but... |
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| I would have put it closer to the solarium. |
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| My God, all we need now is a power failure! |
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| From your mouth to God's ear! |
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| Ouch, dammit, I just bumped into a chair. |
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| Are you still sitting on the floor, Bernice? |
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| I'm not moving until the lights come back on. I'm just going to sit here with this bottle of wine and relax. |
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| All right, Bernice. We'll be back for you. Come on. |
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There's mischief in Washington and guess who has to pay. There's mix-ups in Washington and guess who...who... Who is it? |
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| I am going back into the closet. You will not tell them you saw me. |
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| If you tell, I will drag you into the tunnels where no one can find you. Have you ever been stripped, tied to a wall and whipped? Well?? |
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| Do I have to answer that? |
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| Remember, one word and you die! |
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| She's in the closet, she's in the closet! |
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| Helsa! She's in the closet! |
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Out of the walls? Oh yes, I forgot we're visiting the House of Usher. |
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| Out of the walls? Out of the walls? That's it, Roger! The second act opener should be a waltz! |
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| Dick Rogers does one every show, Ken. |
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| Bernice, this is hardly the place and it certainly isn't the time. |
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| Isn't the time, Roger? Isn't the time? I'm creating. Don't TELL me it isn't the time. The contractions are beginning and he tells me it isn't the time. I've been stopped from giving birth a lot here tonight, Ken. |
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| Has anyone seen the maid? |
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| Wait, I'm not staying here with all these guns waving around. Bernice? |
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| All right, here's the rope. I'll tie him up, I'm very handy with half hitches. |
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That's it! It's gone. The lyric's gone and I'll never get it back. |
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| Oh, Bernice, are you all right? |
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| I can't work in this environment, Roger. These people have no respect for an artist. It's casting swirls before pine. I am very drunk. |
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| Maybe the sweetness of the oranges might counteract--- |
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C'mon Bernice. We're moving on. |
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| Oh good. Anything open this late? |
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| Put your gun on the piano, Elsa, and get over there. |
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| It's a maze in here.And what's another word for corn? Maize. Ken De La Maize. So I been trying to find my way back ever since. |
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| Excuse me, if you're done with that cognac, could I borrow it? |
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| You've had enough to drink, Bernice. |
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| You don't have to count, Roger, we're not at your house. |
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| Well I guess with the killer caught, it's okay this time. |
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| Yeah but what about the sister who sells sausage? Okay, I'll be right back. Maybe you should put another knot in that. |
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| This is the stage door slasher? |
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| Corn, of course. Corn. That's it, Roger! |
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| We're wrong setting our show in Washington. These are troubled times...times for a musical that celebrates the spirit of America! The cornfields, the cowboys, those surreys with all that little frilly crap on top. Our next musical should take place in...Nebraska! |
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