•    The infatuation/romantic phase normally lasts 3-6 months.

•    The more relationships you have, the shorter this period gets.

•    The love “drug” is fully out of your system in about 2 years.

We are attracted to people who are different from us

You attracted to someone with the most diverse DNA from you

If you are an extrovert you tend to be attracted to an introvert

There a literally a million neurotransmitters that are released in your brain… “love drug”

All of a sudden the world has color, everything is seen in a more positive way, increased energy, stay up all night

Law of diminishing of returns--- first kiss is not like kissing after two years 

•    Heightened interest

•    Euphoria

•    Increased energy

•    Loss of appetite

•    Lowering of defenses

•    Positive outlook

•    Increased libido

•    Return to prior interests

•    More rational thinking

•    More inclusion of other people

•    Less exclusivity

•    Less sexual intensity

•    Return to prior relationship styles

•    Defenses and old patterns return

•   Pursuing (anxious-ambivalent)

•   Distancing (avoidant)

•    Pursuers start to pursue / distancers start to distance

Tends toward one of two attachment styles

When the relationship gets uncomfortable- you tend to either be anxious or avoidant 

•    Tend to talk more

•    Ask more questions

•    Highly sensitive to any form of rejection

•    Focuses on negatives not positives

•    Has difficulty taking in positive reinforcement

•    Often seen as insatiable

If person senses that he or she is not as important as before---there is a sense of rejection, place in relationship is diminished

Possible to make up evidence

•    Withdraw

•    Stonewall

•    Resist

•    Give little information

•    Are highly sensitive to any form of control

•    Often quite rational

•    Look more together

Tend to be passive aggressive

Does not want to be controlled, not as excited to hang out with the other person as much

Needs some space 

•    Flexibility

•    Examining needs

•    Making adjustments

•    Transforming low spots

•    Provides opportunity to work as a team and deepen your connection

•    Keeps the relationship exciting 

•    Talking/listening

•    Touching/feeling

•    Sexual sharing

•    Supporting/being supported

•    Helping/being helped

•    Working toward common goals

•    Affirming/being affirmed

•    Stable marriages have higher levels of affection and fewer critical comments

•    Women’s satisfaction linked to the distribution of household responsibilities

•    Strong marriages are able to resolve conflict