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| Every morning a man gets up, gets ready for work, kisses his wife, takes the elevator down stairs, and goes to work. One morning, he gets up, gets ready for work, kisses his wife, gets in the elevator, and knows she is dead. How? |
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Definition
| His wife was on life support, and the power went out. |
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| One day a man came to work late. It was night time. He walked upstairs, turned on a light, and looked out the window. When he looked out the window he knew he would die. Why? |
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Definition
| His job was to work in a light house. He turned on the light too late, and a ship was already about to run into the light house. |
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| Why was the baby ant confused? |
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| all of his uncles were ants. |
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| What gets wetter the more it dries? |
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| What flowers do you always wear? |
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| What can make a octapus laugh? |
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| If a fire hydrante has H2O on the inside, what does it have on the outside? |
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| What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? |
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| A jeweler sells watches and a jailer watches cells. |
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| What is in the middle of Paris? |
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| If you drop a yellow hat in the red sea, what does it become? |
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| A cookie man keeps running around the block. A police man tells him if he does it again, he'll throw him in the ocean. The cookie man ran around the block again, and... |
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| THE POLICE MAN THREW HIM IN THE OCEAN!!! |
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| A man wanted to propose to his girlfriend, while he was on a cruise, he got out the ring, and accidentally droped into the ocean. Later they were eating sushi, and his girlfriend bit into a piece and bit... |
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| What grows down as it grows up? |
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| What is so fragile even saying it's name will break it? |
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| What 11 letter english word does everyone pronounce incorretly? |
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| What 7 letters did mother hubbard say when she opened her cupboard? |
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| Why do sharks only swim in salt water? |
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Definition
| cause pepper water makes them sneeze |
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| When can you put pickles in a door? |
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| What do you call you father-in-law's, only child's mother-in-law? |
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| What do you call a song about a car? |
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| How many animals did Moses take on the ark? |
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| Why did the fox cross the road? |
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| Why did the gum cross the road? |
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| To get off the side walk! |
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| Why did the turkey cross the road twice? |
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Definition
| to prove it wasn't a chicken |
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| Why did the weasle croos the road twice? |
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Definition
| Because it was a double crosser! |
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| What does a a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up? |
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| What is black, and white, and red all over? |
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| A zebra with too much lipstick |
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| What is the biggest ant in the world? |
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| What is the largest living ant in the world? |
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| What kind of monkey can fly? |
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| Someone laughing their head off? |
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| Why didn't the lady run away from the attacking lion? |
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Definition
| Because she thought it was a man eater! |
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| Why has no one ever spotted a leapord in Africa? |
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Definition
| Cause they already have spots! |
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| Would you rather have a tiger eat you or a lion? |
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Definition
| I'd rather the tiger ate the lion, thank you! |
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| What has 3 heads, is ugly, and smells bad! |
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Definition
| Oops, my mistake, you don't have 3 heads. |
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