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Definition
| transactional process between people who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, or interference in achieving their own objectives |
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| people throwing acusations at one another that have little to do with the disagreement at hand |
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| the ability to influence or control other people and events |
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| symmetrical relationships |
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| complementary relationships |
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| power doesn't reside within people |
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Definition
| it is granted by individuals or groups who allow another person to exert it |
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| resource that other people value, gives you influence over individuals who value that resource |
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| includes material things such as money, property, and food |
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| compromises special skills or knowledge |
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| person who is linked with a network of friends, family, and acquaintances |
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| personal characteristic that people prize as desirable in particular culture |
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| when you share with someone else a close bond that no one else shares |
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| cultures that differ widely in the degree in which people view the unequal distribution of power |
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| people possess few if any power currencies, still may choose to engage in conflict with high power people |
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| highly authoritarian, authority figures should be believed and obeyed |
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| women's lack of power compared to men |
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| People manage conflict in four ways |
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Definition
| avoiding, accomodating, competing, and collaborating |
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Term
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Definition
ignoring or communicating ambiguously about the situation
skirting: changing the topic
sniping: communicating negatively and then physically leaving |
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| cumulative annoyance: avoiding |
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Definition
| our repressed annoyance grows as the mental list of grievances we have against our partner accumulates |
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| pseudo-conflict: avoidance |
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Definition
| the perception that a conflict exists when in fact in doesnt |
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Term
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Definition
| one person abandons his own goals and acquiesces to the desires of the other person |
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Term
| important lesson regarding power and conflict |
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Definition
| if you possess few or no power currencies, people who are more powerful won;t accommodate your goals during conflict |
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| you confront others and pursue your own goals to the exclusion of others |
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Term
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Definition
| dramatic rise in emotional intensity and increasingly negative aggressive communication |
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Term
| sudden death statements: competing |
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Definition
| occur when people get so angry and frustrated that they declare the end of their relationship |
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| messages that are honest in content but have been kept hidden to protect partner's feelings |
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Term
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Definition
most constructive approach for managing conflict, treating conflict as mutual problem-solving challenge rather than something that is avoided, accomodated, or competed over,
openly discussing the incompatibility of goals or the competition for resources that has fueled your conflict |
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Term
| 4 ways to collaberatively manage conflict |
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Definition
1. attack problems not people
2. focus on common interests and long term goals
3. create options before arriving at decisions
4. critically evaluate your solution |
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Term
| perception and attrbution |
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Definition
| play a significant role in blocking the use of collaberation |
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Term
| mental checklist for to improve your conflict management skills |
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Definition
1. is my partner really being uncooperative
2. is my partner really solely to blame
3. is the conflict really due to ongoing differences, or temp factors of stress and fatigue |
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Term
| most destructive response to conflict |
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Definition
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Term
| short term conflict resolutions |
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Definition
separation: sudden withdrawal of one person
domination: one person gets his or her way by influencing the other to engage in accomodation and abandon goals
compromise: both parties change their goals to make them compatible
integrative agreements: : two sides preserve and attain their goals by developing a creative solution to their problem
integrative agreements: two sides preserve and attain goals by developing creative solution
structural improvements: results if people involved are able to control their negative emotions and still collaberatively manage conflict |
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Term
| Long term conflict outcomes |
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Definition
People who use avoidance have lower relationship satisfactory.
collaberative results in resolving conflicts and higher satisfactory.
competing and accomodating both risky, you can't count on either as a constructive way to manage conflict for long term. |
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Term
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Definition
| ex: one person loves another but the feeling isnt reciprocated, you and the other person arent willing to change negative opinions, goals arent irreconcilable and strongly held, other partner is uncooperative |
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Term
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Definition
| demand and withdraw pattern, woman pursues conflict by demanding that goals be met and a man responds by withdrawing |
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Term
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Definition
collectivistic: view direct messages by regarding conflict as personal attacks
individualistic: feel comfortable agreeing or disagreeing and dont see clashes as personal |
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Term
| individualistic vs collectivistic, consider these: |
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Definition
1. recognize that collectivists prefer third person to mediate the conflict
2. help the other person save face
3. closely observe nonverbals |
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Term
| collectivist vs individualistic consider theseL |
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Definition
1. recognize that individualists separate conflict from people, doesnt mean situation is personal
2. focus on issues involved in conflict
3. be more direct and assertive than you usually are
4. provide more verbal feedback than you would |
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Term
| conflict and tech. suggestions |
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Definition
1. wait and reread
2. assume the best, watch out for the worst(presume someone meant well)
3. seek outside counsel (before responding to online conflict discuss with someone who knows you well)
4. weigh your options carefully
5. communicate competently (use cooperative language) |
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Term
| key feature between conflict and power struggles that destroy and create improvement |
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Definition
| how you interpersonally communicate |
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