Term
| Gottman's Four Horseman +1 |
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Definition
1. Criticism 2. Defensiveness 3. Contempt (feeling like partner is undesirable or inferior)
4. Stonewalling 5. Belligerence All of these are divorce indicators.
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Term
| How many positive comments or actions does it take to make up for a piece of criticism? |
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Definition
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Term
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Definition
| speaking to gain or reinforce intimacy |
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Term
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Definition
| conversation aimed at conveying information |
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Term
| Forms of Passive-Aggresive Behavior |
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Definition
Def: When a person expresses anger at someone but doesso indirectly rather than directly. Examples: Chronic Complaining, Nit-picking, nagging, sarcasm and sometimes procrastination.
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Term
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Definition
| Powerful issues that partners are unaware of, unable to talk about, or unwilling to talk about. |
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Term
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Definition
| Based on unresolved current and past painful issues |
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Term
| When do most couples deal with hidden issues? |
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Definition
| During an arguement or negative event. |
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Term
| What three types of safety do you need for positive communication? |
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Definition
1. Commitment Safety 2. Emotional Safety 3. Personal Safety
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Term
| What is the definition of Congruent vs. Incongruent Messages? |
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Definition
Congruent: Verbal and Non-Verbal communication agree with one another Incongruent: Verbal and Non-Verbal communication don't agree
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Term
| What are the three obstacles to Valid Hearing? |
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Definition
1. Speaker not saying what they mean 2. Silence 3. Expectations 4."Baggage" 5. Incongruent Behaviors
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Term
| What are the two barriers to meaningful communication? |
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Definition
1. Timing 2. Not permitting the situation to rise. |
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Term
| What are three reasons someone might not "let the situation arise"? |
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Definition
1. fear that the person might have to be intimate in return 2. Afraid that they might be taking on the responsibility for his/her life 3. Afraid they might hear something about themselves that they don't like or want to hear.
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Term
| What are the 5 components to fighting fair? |
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Definition
1. Focus on one issue, here and now
2. Make it a clearly observable behavior 3. Use "I" Statements 4. Give rationale and an emotion 5. Provide a way of solving the issue
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Term
What are the three barriers with regard to conflict resolution? |
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Definition
1. Not permitting the situation to arise 2. Accusation and Acrimony -> (Shame and Blame) 3. Not letting the person talk fully
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Term
| What is "pronatalist bias"? |
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Definition
Having children is taken for granted, whereas not having children warrents some form of justification. Having children = Normal Not having children = Not normal |
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Term
| Understand the transition related to the view of chilren historically to the present |
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Definition
| In the past children were viewed more as economic assets because parents needed them for labor purposes. Now children are considered more of an emotional asset and an economic liability. |
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Term
| Understand the "costs" related to career development for women who decide not to have children. |
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Definition
| Opportunity costs (to have one thing you have to give up another) |
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Term
Correlation between economic status and number of children people have |
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Definition
| People of lower socioeconomic status have more childen even though they have less money because of education and not being able to afford proper birth control |
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Term
Know the advantages and disadvantages to a one-child family |
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Definition
Advantages: Parents report they are not too tieddown or overwhelmed with parenthood. More free time and better off financially. Share decisions more equally and can afford to do more things together. Child has better relationship with parents and are have higher educational expectations. DISadvantages: Lack of experiences with siblings, Might face extra pressure from parents to suceed. As the children grow they are left to be the only one to care for aging parents.
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Term
| What percentage of women remain child-free? |
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Definition
| 20% 7-10% via infertility problems and the rest by choice. |
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Term
| When do couples report their happiest times being? |
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Definition
| Before the first child and after the last child leaves the house. |
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Term
| Two factors that related to parenting that contribute to "At Risk" family life and low life satisfaction. |
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Definition
1. Mothers IQ 2. Mothers age
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Term
| Why do some people remain child-free? |
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Definition
- Extended family may be gone or distant
- Increase risk for birth defects
- Decision to return to work or not
- Medical Even
- Complication with pregnancy
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Term
| What factor regarding children is shown to decrease marital happiness/satisfaction? |
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Definition
| How many children the couple has increases the unhappiness |
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Term
| Effects of daycare on children |
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Definition
| With a good quality daycare it is shown that children score higher in social skills and independence |
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Term
| Different parenting styles: |
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Definition
Shared Parenting: Both (mother and father) share equally in the raising of the kids Authoritative Parenting: combines emotional nurturing with parental direction. "warm, firm and fair"
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Term
| Benefits and Consequences of delaying child bearing until later in life |
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Definition
Benefits: Geographic and occupational mobility, travel, toys and gratifying career Consequences: increase in infertility problems, work can get in the way of things they want to do with children
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Term
| Meaning of "no-fault" divorce |
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Definition
No one particular party has to be at fault for someone to file for divorce. There doesn't really need to be a reason anymore to get a divorce |
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Term
| Indepence Effect with regard to women and divorce |
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Definition
Employment gives women self-confidence, economic power, and increased independence which is a factor as to why some married employed women will file for divorce more often |
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Term
| What is "Intergenerational transmission of divorce" |
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Definition
| people who come from divorced homes are more likely to get divorced themselves |
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Term
| Understand exchange theory when talking about marital happiness and some barriers to divorce and alternatives to marriage |
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Definition
Exchange Theory - weighing marital happiness against both alternatives (staying or leaving) Barriers to Divorce: Economic concerns, children and religion which looks down on divorce Alternatives to marriage: Cohabitation
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Term
| Understand the types of divorce |
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Definition
Emotional divorce: Withholding positive emotions and communications from the relationship. Usually happens before the word Divorce is ever mentioned Legal Divorce: Dissolution of marriage by the state through a court order terminating the marriage Community Divorce: End of the relationships and changed in social network that come as a result of divorce (making new friends and leaving in-laws) Psychic Divorce: Gaining psychological autonomy through emotional separation from the personality and influence of the former spouse. (Being able to not care anymore, becoming indifferent)
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Term
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Definition
A canceled debt, giving up the percieved right to get even and giving up the attitude, "you owe me" |
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Term
| Custody agreements and challenges for custodial and non-custodial parents |
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Definition
Joint custody - Both parents have the privelage of being in the childs life and making important decisions for the children. Noncustodial parents feel as if they lose the identity of a parent and suffer loss usually.
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Term
| The five perspectives related to reasons for negative effects of divorce on children |
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Definition
1. Life Stress perspective: Divorce is stressful for kids 2. Parental loss perspective: Loss of one parents from houshold 3. Parental Adjustment Perspective: Parents have a hard time adjusting, leads to conflict with kids 4. Economic Hardship Perspective: poor economic conditions following divorce has neg. effect. 5. Interparental Conflict Perspective: Negative oucome for children because of conflict while married and divorced between parents
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Term
| What equates a "good divorce" |
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Definition
| Psychic divorce + forgiveness + cooperative parenting = good divorce |
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Term
| 4 types of co-parenting realtionships |
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Definition
1.Perfect Pals (12%) 2. Cooperative colleagues (38%) 3. Angry Associates (25%) 4. Fiery Foes (25%)
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Term
| Factors influencing instabilty and higher divorce rates in second marriages? |
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Definition
Less social support from own family and in-law, step-children and the "normless norm" |
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Term
| What is the level of marital satisfaction and family life satisfaction with first marriages compared to second marriages |
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Definition
| Second Marriage = same marital happiness, less family life happiness because of step-children |
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Term
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Definition
Step-families of various types, relationships widely varied, roles not well defined, family law doesn't provide protection/ guidelines for step-family relationships |
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Term
| Understand the results of White and Booth's studies of remarriage and marital quality |
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Definition
| Marital quality same as first marriage but family life satisfaction reason for 2nd divorce usually |
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Term
| Papernow's 7 stage model of step family devlopment |
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Definition
1. Fantasy 2. Immersion 3. Awareness 4. Mobilization 5. Action 6. Contact 7. Resolution
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Term
| What are some of the main challenges in step-parenting and step-families |
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Definition
Financial strains ($ over first divorce and marriage, failure to change will to put in sstep-children) Role Ambiguity (Step-parents have no role or rights in family) Step-Children's hostility
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Term
Differences between role adjustments between step mothers and step fathers |
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Definition
STEP FATHERS: Kids seem to get along with stepfather about the same as father. Step Fathers are more detached than step mothers. Problems often arise over differences in need for and type of discipline to be used and when. STEP MOTHERS: Tend to be more stressed, anxious and depressed than mothers and stepfathers. Conflicting expectations come with role - "stepmother trap" - esp. between stepmothers and stepdaughters
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