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| Jane says that drug use is morally wrong, but she is just a goody-two shoes Christian, so we don't have to listen to her. |
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| Bill says that we should give tax breaks to companies. But he is untrustworthy, so it must be wrong to do that. |
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| Professor Pearson's arguments in favor of the theory of evolution should be discounted. Pearson is a cocaine-snorting sex pervert and, according to some reports, a memeber of the communist party. |
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| I think that we should reject what Father Jones has to say about the ethical issues of abortion because he is a Catholic priest. After all, Father Jones is required to hold such views. |
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| Alice has argued that we replace the public school system with private education. But of course she's going to say that. She has no kids and she doesn't want to pay any more taxes for public education. |
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| Ugh. Fred Smith. FedEx Founder and CEO. Presented as an “American Leader.” Hard for me to get past what an ineffective father he is. [Smith is the father of Richard Wallace Smith, who pled guilty to assault and battery charges after he and two accomplices beat up a freshman student on the University of Virginia campus. |
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You: Look at this. It says here that white males still earn a lot more than minorities and women for doing the same job.
your friend: Yeah, right. Written by some woman, no doubt. |
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| Well, most of the recent Treasury secretaries have been officers of Goldman Sachs at one time or another. It’s no wonder their claims about the economy always favor the company. |
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| Suspicious: “I would forget about whatever Moore and Parker have to say about pay for college teachers. After all, they’re both professors themselves; what would you expect them to say?” |
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Mom: dont eat the cookies, they are for Santa
daughter: than why are you eating one. |
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| I've heard your argument that I should go on a diet. But just look at yourself! You have a pot as big as a weather balloon, and every one of your muscles has turned to flab. |
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| Overheard: “Hunting immoral? Why should I believe that, coming from you? You fish, don’t you?” |
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| Rush Limbaugh argues that the establishment clause of the First Amendment should not be stretched beyond its intended dimensions by precluding voluntary prayer in public schools. This is a peculiar argument, when you consider that Limbaugh is quite willing to stretch the Second Amendment to include the right to own assault rifles and Saturday night specials. |
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Dear Editor—
I read with amusement the letter by Leslie Burr titled “It’s time to get tough.” Did anyone else notice a little problem in her views? It seems a little odd that somebody who claims that she “loathes violence” could also say that “criminals should pay with their life.” I guess consistency isn’t Ms. Burr’s greatest concern. |
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| I think you can safely assume that Justice Scalia’s opinions on the cases before the Supreme Court this term will be every bit as flaky as his past opinions. |
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| Don't listen to him, he's a scoundrel. |
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| Before turning the floor over to my opponent, I ask you to remember that those who oppose my plans do not have the best wishes of the university at heart. |
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| Before you get all excited about the ancient Greek ideal of a life of leisure and learning, remember that the Greeks owned slaves. |
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| That product should not be trusted because it was made in China. |
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| Harvard now takes the position that its investment in urban redevelopment projects will be limited to projects that are environmentally friendly. Before you conclude that that is such a swell idea, stop and think. For a long time, Harvard was one of the biggest slumlords in the country. |
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| Capital punishment was invented during barbaric times. No civilized society ought to tolerate it. |
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| Brewing tycoon Joseph Coors has argued that government should get off the back of American businesses.Obviously, Coors wants to abolish government altogether. Yet without government there would be no defense, no judicial system, and no social Security. None of us wants to forgo these benefits. Thus we can see that Coors's argument is absurd. |
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Jill: "We should clean out the closets. They are getting a bit messy."
Bill: "Why, we just went through those closets last year. Do we have to clean them out everyday?"
Jill: "I never said anything about cleaning them out every day. |
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| “The legalization of drugs will not promote their use. The notion of a widespread hysteria sweeping across the nation as every man, woman, and child instantaneously becomes addicted to drugs upon their legalization is, in short, ridiculous.” |
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| Aid to Russia? Gimme a break! Why should we care more about the Russians than about our own people? |
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| Why do i spend so much money on clothes? Well, its either that or look like a bum, and you know which of those I prefer. |
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| You have a choice: Either you let ’em out to murder and rape again and again, or you put up with a little prison overcrowding. I know what I’d choose. |
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| Either buy me some candy daddy, or I'll hold my breath until i die. |
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| Look, you are going to have to make up your mind. Either you decide that you can afford this stereo, or you decide you are going to do without music for a while. |
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| No, I don't think we ought to reinstate the death penalty in this state. Doing so isn't going to prevent all crime, and you know it. |
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| I'm not going to argue any more about it, because if you dont get it now than you never will. |
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| Overheard: “No, I’m against this health plan business. None of the proposals are gonna fix everything, you can bet on that.” |
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I’m not in favor of raising spending on education. Even if we spend twice as much as we
do now, there’s no guarantee that all current problems will be solved. |
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| Same sex marriages should never be licensed by the state. If these arrangements are licensed, they will become an attractive alternative to heterosexual marriage. Married couples will start abandoning their spouses and link up with same-sex partners. Before long, everyone will adopt this lifestyle, and no one will have any kids. The extinction of the human race will follow soon thereafter. |
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| Overheard: Well, I think that’s too much to tip her. It’s more than 15 percent. Next time it will be 20 percent, then 25 percent—where will it stop? |
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| We have to stop the tuition increase! the next thing you know, they'll be charging $40,000 a semester |
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| If we do not teach people that abortion is wrong others may convince them that murder is ok. |
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| There must be intelligent life on other planets. No one has proven that there isn't. |
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| Burden of Proof/ Appeal to Ignorance |
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| You cannot prove that God does not exist, so He does. |
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| Burden of Proof/ Appeal to Ignorance |
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Bill: "I think that some people have psychic powers."
Jill: "What is your proof?"
Bill: "No one has been able to prove that people do not have psychic powers. |
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| Burden of Proof/ Appeal to Ignorance |
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Of course, Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. I’m not going to budge on my position
until you show me evidence that he didn’t. |
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| Burden of Proof/ Appeal to Ignorance |
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The defense would have you to believe, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that Barbie
Badabing didn’t murder her husband. But has the defense proved this contention beyond a
shadow of doubt? No, the defense has not. You should therefore convict the plaintiff for murder in the first degree. |
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| Burden of Proof/ Appeal to Ignorance |
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| Trucker caps are in fashion now because practically everyone is wearing them. |
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| Of course, Chinese green tea is good for your health. If it weren’t, how could it be so beneficial to drink it? |
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| Abortion is murder. Why? well isn't killing a human being murder? |
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| God exists. I know, because the Bible says so, and the Bible is the word of God. |
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| Way I figure is, giving up smoking isn’t gonna make me live forever, so why bother? |
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