• listening and hearing are not the same thing 
• listening is not a natural process
• all listeners do not receive the same message

1. hearing 
2. attending- the act of paying attention
3. understanding 
4. responding 
5. remembering 

• pseudolistening-appear attentive, actually arent listening or paying attention at all 
• selective listening - responds only to the parts that interest them 
• defensive listening - take innocent comments as personal 
• ambushing- looking for info for a later attack 
• insulated listening- avoid certain topics completely
• insensitive listening- incapable of looking beyond words
• stage hogging - try to turn the topic of conversations into something about themselves 

• message overload
• rapid thought - we have time to focus on other things than the words, mentally, so our brain tends to wander 
• psychological noise
• physical noise 
• hearing problems 
• faulty assumptions

• has value 
• primarily relational 
• ambiguous
• differs from verbal 
• it is important 

Verbal: one dimmension (words only),intermitten flow (speaking and silence), less subject to misunderstanding, less impact if verbal and nonverbal are contradictory, usually deliberate 

Nonverbal: multiple dimmensions, continuous flow, more ambiguous, stronger impact, often unintentional 

• repeating 
• substituting 
• complementing 
• accenting 
• regulating 
• contradicting 
• deceiving 

• more than an acquaintance
• rare
• self disclosure
• intimacy 

• physical, emotional, intellectual
• gender and culture both influence intimacy

• cultural influence is considered 
• usually occurs in dyads
• both parties should be sharing the same amount of information 
• occurs incrementally
• relatively scarce 

• unwilling/incapable of expressing feelings in a conflict
• lets others choose in decisions
• low self sufficiency 
• gives in 
• others respond with disrespect, guilt, anger, frustration 
• succeeds by luck or charity of others

• attacks the other persons position
• chooses for other people 
• high or low self sufficiency 
• other people are hurt, defensive, humiliated in response 
• succeeds by beating out others 

• expresses hostility in an obscure way 
• chooses for others without them knowing 
• seemingly high self sufficiency, but is low 
• uses a concealed attack (crazy making) 
• others become confused, frustrated, and feel manipulated
• wins by manipulation

• conveys the message in a roundabout way 
• chooses for others without them knowing it 
• high or low self sufficiency 
• they are strategic, and oblique 
• people unkowingly comply or resist 
• they gain unwitting compliance of others

• chooses for themselves, but is accepting that the other person may not aggree
• usually high self sufficiency 
• they dirctly confront the problem 
• mutual respect 
• attempts win-win situation 

• manuscript 
• memorized
• impromptu
• extemporaneous 

Consensus- all members agree. best in small groups
Majority- decision made by the bigger portion of the group

Minority- small representative group makes decisions for others
Expert Opinion
Authority Rule 

Supporter/Encourager-praises others
Harmonizer-reconciles disagreements
Tension-jokes or reduces the formality of the situation 

Conciliator-offers new ideas when their ideas are involved, willing to admit errors

gatekeeper-keeps communication channels open

Feeling Expressor-makes known the groups feelings

Follower-passively follows groups movement

Initiator/contributor-gives ideas and solutions

Information seeker-asks for clarification, seeks other resources, questions things

Information giver-states beliefs or opinions of solutions

Elaborator/clarifier-expands on others ideas

Coordinator-clarifies relationships between information, opinions, and solutions

Diagnostician-indicates what problems are
Orienter/Summarizer-summerize what has taken place 

Energizer-prods the group to action 
Secretary- keeps notes

Evaluator/critic-constructively analyzes progress 

Legitimate Power-power from the position one possesses

Coercive-threat or actual imposition of unwanted consequences

Reward Power-granting or promise of desired consequences

Expert Power-from what people believe they know or can do (like doctors) 

Information Power-the information they possess can help the group reach the goal 
Referent Power- Being well liked 

Authoritarian-relies on legitimate, coercive, and reward power.
Democratic-other members have a say in decisions, but the final say is still made my the leader

Laissez-Faire- leader gave up the power to dictate