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Definition
There are 6 reasons
1- To fine-tune your expertise (more competent, effective)
2- To learn that conflict is common (inevitable, natural)
3- To understand it's role in development (begins in early childhood and continues to death)
4- To decrease agression (hurts the other person)
5- Maintain or improve your physical health (increase blood pressure,headaches,depression,poor mental health)
6- To achieve satisfying relationships (it affects relatives) |
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| Defining Interpersonal conflict |
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Definition
4 approaches
1- Conflict is pervasive (can emerge at anytime, anywhere)
2- Explicit disagreement (Linguistic, kinesic, behavior, etc..)
3- Hostile (unfriendly) episode (beginning and ending situation)
4- Interpersonal conflict as disagreement in particular episodes (expressed struggle = behavior) You must express your disagreement with someone to have an interpersonal conflict. |
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Term
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According to Wilmont & Hocker, it is "an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals."
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Level 1: Specific behavior (which tv program to watch, how long to cook vegetables, mail a package overnight or regular, etc..)
Level 2: Concern coordination of relational norms and roles (what is expected in a relationship such as who should cook, clean, work, trust, respect, commitment, power, etc..) They are more difficult to solve than level 1.
Level 3: Personal characteristics and attitudes. (problems with partner's personality or belief such as religion, political view, motives, qualities, fault, strength.) |
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| The capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationship. |
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| Internal strain (stress, tension) that creates a state of ambivalence (deux aspects opposes), conflicting internal dialogue, or lack of resolution in one's thinking and feeling accompanies interpersonal conflict. |
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| Communication and Conflict are related when.. |
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1- Communication behavior often creates conflict.
2- Communication behavior reflects conflict.
3- Communication is the vehicle for the productive or destructive management of conflict. |
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1- Typically involves a triggering event
2- We are focused on the exchange, interaction, communicative representations of the differences (example: word choice, non-verbal cues) that acknowledge the issue exist. |
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| between at least 2 interdependent parties (dependent l'un de l'autre) parties could be groups, teams, organizations as well as 2,3,4 or more people) |
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Definition
- A person who is not dependent upon another, who has no special interest in what the other does has no conflict with that other person.
- The special interest we have in one another because choices affect one another.
- Precedes the conflict, may be the impetus (elan, inpulsion) for conflict. |
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Conflict in which parties have choices as opposed to conflict in which the power is so disparate that there are virtually no choices. (example in politics)
Strategic conflict is never antagonistic and must have mutual interests. |
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| They engage in an expressed stuggle and interfere with one another because they are interdependent. Example: One person is dependent on oneself while two people are interdependent on eachother. |
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| Gridlocked Conflict (embouteillage, impasse) think about being gridlock in traffic (feel full of road rage, furious at the system or drivers, hopeless, numb, etc..) |
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Definition
| Being stuck in unproductive interdependence such as: keep talking but make no headway, feel more frustrated and hurt after you talk than before, you become more entrenched (retranche) over time so you become insulting during your talks, more vilification makes you more polarized, extreme, and less willing to compromise, you disengage emotionally or physically or both. Trying harder often does not work. Trying to be smarter instead of harder. When nothing is working, try a different strategy. |
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| Perceived incompatible goals |
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Definition
| goals = what we want (example: who is going to take the trash out?) Incompatible goals = we can't have both or goals are different, what each wants out of the interaction. |
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| Perceived scarce resources |
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| Difficult to come by, limited. Example: time, affection, power, self-esteem. (We highly value) Remember: people usually think the other person has more power and self-esteem. We don't perceive other people the way they perceive themselves. Somebody or else is getting on my way to get something. |
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| People who are interdependent, perceive incompatible goals, and want the same scarce resource still may not meet the conditions for conflict. Interference, or the perception of interference, is necessary to complete the conditions for conflict. Parties see one another as getting in the way (blocking). Unable to achieve goal because of the other person (the problem). |
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| Conflict can be productive or destructive depending on many factors including the context it occurs and the kind of communication used. If a settlement is not reached, then a conflict is costly and classified as destructive. |
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Criticizing/Defensiveness/Stonewalling/Contempt
When these four behavior "ride in" to a relationship, the end is near. Criticizing example = "you are the most selfish person i know." defensiveness example = "respond to an attack." Stonewalling = Show that the person is not in the conversation (no eye contact, head nods, facial expression, brief vocalization, refusal to engage in a topic no matter how the other person brings it up." Contempt = statement or nonverbal behavior that puts oneself on a higher plane. |
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| The relationship continues to circle around to more and more damaging ends. Examples: Hit and run tactics or hitting below the belt. "It is her or his fault!" "He is mean!" "She is irresponsible!" |
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| Escalatory spirals are considered as a "fight" pattern, while avoidance patterns are "flight" pattern. Signs of avoidance spirals are: Less direct interaction, active avoidance of the other party, reduction of dependence, harboring of resentment or disapointment, complaining to third persons about the other party. |
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