Erikson stage for Middle Childhood

4th stage

crisis - industry vs. inferiority

virtue - competence

children need to learn skills that are valued in their culture

school age kids demonstrate emotional growth by showing prosocial behavior

sign of positive adjustment - more empathic to others, act appropriately in social situations, relatively free from negative emotions and solve problems constructively

Coregulation

Def'n

control of behavior shifts from parent to child

- parent and child share power, parents oversee but child makes moment by moment decisions

requires trust and communication

process of solving problem more important than solution

3/4 mothers work

positive experience - mother feels good about work and herself

Children tend to live more structured life, more independent and more egalitarian gender roles

Effect of Father's Work

work and family important

good relationship with family make up for negative job

family and job negative = distress, affects kids

1 in 5 kids live in poverty

can inspire or crush spirits

harms development through impact on parent's emotional state and parenting practices and home and environment

parents create

What % adoption by relatives?

Why have foreign adoptions increased?

Who are more likely to keep babies?

60% adoption by relatives

foreign adoptions increased b/c fewer healthy white babies available

African American women more likely to keep

*fewer healthy babies available!*

Adoption

Special Challenges

need to integrate child into existing family structure

explaining adoption to child

helping child develop healthy sense of self

contacting biological parents

Adoption

When do problems surface?

Who is most likely to have problems?

problems usually surface around time of sexual maturity

children adopted in infancy less likely to have adjustment issues

birth parent and adoptive parents know each other's identities, share info

or have direct contact

trend today

leads to healthier adjustment of child

adoptive parent feels more secure arrangement is permanent

younger children: more anxious, less realistic perceptions about what caused divorce (blame themselves), but adapt quicker than older kids

school age: more loyalty conflicts, fear abandonment and rejection, boys may find it harder to adjust

Who gets custody after divorce?

usually mother but paternal custody increasing

joint custody less common

but can work if parents can work together and reduce conflict for benefit of child

How can parents help their children

adjust after divorce?

1

1. reassure child it's not their fault
2. reduce conflict b/t parents
3. custodial parents must create stable, structured and nurturing environment
4. parents need to take care of themselves, work on issues of grief and loss

How can parents help their children

adjust after divorce?

2

1. Do not place too much responsibility on child
2. Don't make child "surrogate spouse", they have own grief process. child loves both parents.
3. child needs to see both parents with as little conflict as possible

1. bond needs to be nurtured
2. custodial parent usually has more contact with grandparents on their side of family so must make effort to allow granparents from other side to get involved
3. much better if can be resolved outside court
4. mediation one option

1 in 4 child lives with only one parent

50% chance of child living with single parent

1 in 6 single parent homes headed by father

Single Parent Homes

Special Problems

1. kids do less well socially and educationally b/c single parent families most likely poor
2. child more on his own, more responsibility, more conflict with siblings, less family cohesion, less support
3. divorced mothers more trouble with son
4. poor outcome not inevitable

Step Families

1. remarried families must re-invent their own way of doing things
2. more likely to fail than first marriages
3. boys benefit from stepfather
4. girls jealous of stepfather
5. 75% moms remmary, 80% dads
6. more relatives = more stress
7. childs loyalty to natural parent affects attachment to step parent
8. more children = harder adjustment

1. stepparent take hands off approach to children
2. stepparent must support natural parent and not step in to discipline
3. stepparent needs to reassure child they're not replacing other parent
4. allow 2 natural parents to make decision for welfare of child and assist only when asked

1. learn conflict resolution, and expressing anger does not end relationship
2. firstborns - bossy, more likely to attack, interfere, ignore or bribe siblings
3. younger - please, reason, cajole, negotiate and sense others needs
4. same sex siblings argue more
5. 2 brothers fight more than sisters

Childhood Friendships

1. deeper friendships, more stable
2. have cognitive maturity to consider other people's feelings and needs
3. can distinguish between best, good and casual friends
4. choose friends w/ same age, sex and ethnic groups and similar interests

1. test values
2. gauge ability against peers
3. teaches how to get along in society, when to yield and where to hold firm

1. pressure to conform, can be negative (shop-lifting, drugs, antisocial behavior)
2. reinforce prejudice, unfavorable attitudes towards others

Aggression

more common @ this age group?

Relational aggression

1. overt agression (physical force or verbal threats) more common than in pre-school
2. Relational aggression - indirect forms,
   Ex: putting down, spreading rumors, not choosing person for game or team