Head of a Man (Known as an Akkadian Ruler)

c. 2300 BCE

Akkadian/Mesopotamian (modern-day Iraq)

Copper, hollow cast

[you'd think 300 Spartan troops made a MESs O' this aching Akkadian! 2 of his eyes were gouged out! Yowch!]

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Stele of Hammurabi

c. 1800 BCE

Babylonian/Mesopotamian

[if i was an 18 year old with a hammer, i wouldn't hit a rabbi but i might steal the Stele of Hammurabi... though it might be babyish of me to swipe an ancient artifact]

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Palette of Narmer

c. 3000 BCE

Early Dynastic Period of Egypt

[Narmer had quite the refined palette, dined earlier than the rest, and ate 3 course meals]

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The Great Pyramids at Giza

c. 2500 BCE

Old Kingdom Period Egypt

[an old geezer from Giza. 5-2=3 pyramids]

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c. 2400 BCE

Old Kingdom Period Egypt

[always attentive and scribbling 24 hours a day, despite his OLD age]

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c. 1500 BCE

Minoan [like a minnow]

[in order: 1500, 1400, 1300 BCE]

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c. 1400 BCE

Minoan (muh-bull-en)

[in order: 1500, 1400, 1300 BCE]

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c. 1300 BCE

Mycenae/Mycenaen [the tougher of the civilizations should have the lion, they conquered the Minoans]

[in order: 1500, 1400, 1300 BCE]

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c. 600 BCE

Archaic Greek

[hey look at that Archaic smile, what is he a 6 year old?]

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c. 440 BCE

Classical Greek plan, Doric Order, and sculptures

Architects Kallikrates and Iktinos

[Dora the Ikt-splorder and Carmen San Kallikrates couldn't remember this vocab. 4+4=8, meaning i 8nt at the Parthenon right now]

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c. 440 BCE

Doric Order

[Depicting a story involving Athena, they might appear ikTINY o but i assure you, they're not. Athena is so beautiful i have KALLikrates on CALL]

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Doric Order

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First of 3 Orders

[Like how Dora was first before Nihao Kai Lan]

Easily recognized by simple circular capitals at the tops of columns, which were bloated and fluted. They had bare architraves but were detailed within the friezes and pediment.

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Cornice, Frieze and Architrave

[Cornice Frieze and Architrave

three went to a fancy rave

sporting togas

drinking wine

and acting quite depraved

until they met ENTABLATURE

who put them in their place]

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Triglyph and Metope

[Triglyph and Metope are making up the Frieze

Triglyph has a special place, he's fancier than Metope.

That's a lie, it's Metope

it has those sculptures, dontcha see?]

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Doric vs. Ionic

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Doric vs. Ionic

[The Doric is a classic one, with 'glyphs and metopes

At first glance the second one...  is that a naked frieze?

Just kidding! No sirree. You'd be fooled by that assumption!

Ionic is ICONIC, because it has room for these!]

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c. 450 BCE

Classical Greek

Sculpter Polykleitos

[this guy must have worn many(poly) kleets, he looks like a soccer player. This is the first we're seeing diagonals in sculpture, (deemed the Contrapposto pose because his hair looks like controlled pasta), creating the illusion of movement in a more naturalistic but still mathematically proportionate kind of way. I had 45 pastas and now I have none] 

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c. 350 BCE

Classical Greek

Praxiteles

[the people on the island of Kos didn't want Praxiteles' titties anywhere near their proximity, so it went to Knidos. First female nude sculpture and first example of the Venus Pudica, her pose, meaning "modest Venus". I think she looks like a healthy 35 year old.]

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1st Century BCE or CE

Hellenistic Greek

Hagesandros, Polydoros, Athenodoros

[wow! stunning! how could we ever forget the names of Hagesandros, Polydoros and Athenodoros after viewing this masterpiece? Let's try not to. One's a Hag, one's from Athens and one has many more doros than the other 2. This is from the last of the 3 Greek periods, the Hellenistic period. Think Helena from Troy. That was an epic battle, and so is this.]

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6th-3rd Century BCE

Etruscan

[colonnade only in FRONT, steps only in FRONT, tall podium (it's tall off the ground, not short like a Greek temple), cella = 3 rooms, not 1, open bald pediment and statues line the roof. These guys were figuring it all out while the Greeks had already got it, so it's comparitively primitive. The Etruscans were a little rusty.]

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c. 500 BCE

Etruscan

[The Archaic-looking Kouros from 100 years before has a lot in common with the stylistic approach of this happy couple reclining on a dining couch. This shows how Etruscans interpreted the Archaic style, and it was a time to archaically smile indeed, according to these two. They might be dead internally but they don't look a day over 500!]

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early 1st century CE

Early Roman Empire

[This is an idealized replication of Augustus, 1st Emperor of the Roman Empire. Mhm! He's so PRIME I'd like to take it up the PORThole from him! It was specifically modeled after Polykleitos' Doryphoros, in Contrapposto, as a stern nod to the power and success of Athens. Augustus is wearing a cuirass (breastplate) adorned with images of victory or comradeship with the Gods, some of them representational of the patron Gods of places he conquered. Cupid rides a dolphin by his side. Dolphin represents his naval victory over Mark Antony and Cleopatra at the Battle of Actium, securing his position as sole ruler. Because cupid is descendant of Venus, and Augustus was the adopted son of Caesar who claimed to be descended from Venus, AND SO Augustus also shared this connection to the Gods.]

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VOLUTE

Ionic Order

[the spiral, scroll-like capital of the Ionic column]

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a single Keystone, imposts, multiple voussoir, the pier, and finally the foundation.

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Stylobate

the level on which columns stand, sometimes in Peristyle (wrapping around the perimeter)

 [it's stylish to have your columns on the inside]

A group of columns is called a colonnade.

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Pronaos

Porch room. The room that enters into the cella or Naos (room) and overlooks a beautiful view.

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The sacred room of a temple, opposite the pronaos. Sometimes for keeping treasures and offerings for the represented God or Goddess.

[Opisthodomos is highlighted]

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Columns in between two walls (Anta) in a recessed portico

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The main room, windowless, and houses the giant statue

[Naos means room]

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