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Intimate Relationships & Marriage
Sexuality, stresses and strains, conflict, power & violence
61
Psychology
Undergraduate 1
11/15/2009

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Cards

Term
What are some attitudes about casual sex?
Definition
-more permissive over time
-most tolerate sex before marriage in the individuals are in love
Term
Who is usually judged more often about sexuality?
Definition
-women, there seems to be a "double-standard" that creates this
Term
What are some reasons as to why attitudes about sex have changed over time?
Definition
-birth control is readily available
-new social stigma
-60's/70's free love & sexual revolution
Term
What are some common US cultural standards and assumptions?
Definition
-US is mostly conservative
-US is strictest on sexual vs. marital beliefs
-sexual beliefs are connected to the social policy
Term
Love vs. Lust
Definition
-assumption is a lot of desire = in love
-this is a dangerous belief
-romantic love is on the down fall
Term
What are American Attitudes on same-sex sexuality?
Definition
-not acceptable, if they believe sexuality is a choice
-no empirical basis for denying gays & lesbians the legal benefits of civil unions
Term
What are some men vs. women beliefs on sex? (men)
Definition
-men tend to be "okay" with sex without intimacy
-not how often you have sex, but compatibility that makes it good
-men are more permissive
Term
What are some men vs. women beliefs on sex? (women & sexual double-standard)
Definition
-men who have multiple partners = stud
-women who have multiple partners = whore
-taboo about casual sex, society is more accepting of men with stds than of women with stds
Term
What are some facts regarding sex for the first time?
Definition
-average age of first time is 17
-teens are experiencing puberty earlier
Term
Why do people have sex? (4 underlying reasons)
Definition
-emotional
-physical
-pragmatic (means to an end, sleep to get a promotion)
-insecurity
Term
Talk about some aspects of teen sexuality.
Definition
-context of sex (first time, rape, ect..)
-usually in committed relationships
-love=greater closeness
-just sex without love = regret
Term
Talk about teen sexuality in terms of girls vs. boys.
Definition
-girls are usually more ambivalent
-boys are more eager
-if teens are same age, more likely to use a condom, wait & have less regret
-if boy is older, less likely to use a condom, more likely to have it sooner and have regret
Term
What is the good gene hypothesis?
Definition
-women cheat in order to have healthy offspring
-however, sperm competition might evolve to counteract such behavior
Term
In terms of infidelity, who is more likely to cheat men or women?
Definition
-men
-more likely to have an unrestricted sociosexual orientation than women
Term
What is the men difference between men and women in terms of sexual desire?
Definition
-men have a higher sexual desire
-it can lead to misunderstandings in terms of negotiating sex within a relationship
Term
What influences satisfaction in terms of sex?
Definition
-type of relationship
-number of partners (fewer=greater satisfaction)
-need for fulfillment
-motivation & communication
-relationship satisfaction
Term
Talk about infidelity.
Definition
-attitudes about sex
-men 1/3 have sex outside of their relationship
-women 1/5 have sex outside of their relationship
-based on motivations, individual differences and sociosexual orientation
Term
Explain the term relationship evaluation, in regards to stresses and strains within a relationship.
Definition
-our perception that they value the relationship with us less than we want them to
Term
Explain the term relational devaluation & what does it cause.
Definition
-causes hurt feelings
-leaves us psychologically wounded and despondent
Term
Explain the term ostracism.
Definition
-cold shoulder
-people ignore their partners in order to achieve some goal
-recipients of ostracism usually resent it
Term
When do people experience jealousy?
Definition
-when they face the potential loss of a valued relationship to a real or imagined rival
-dependent, inadequacy, past experience (7 years to recover!), attachment style (insecure is more prone), neuroticism, we value monogamy and traditional gender roles
Term
Compare & Contrast
Reactive Jealousy vs. suspicious jealousy
Definition
-reactive= jealous in response to a real threat
-suspicious= jealous in response to an odd behavior
Term
How should you properly cope with jealousy?
Definition
-practice self-reliance and self-bolstering
Term
What is the textbook definition for deception?
Definition
-intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows is false
Term
How do we indicate that someone is lying?
Definition
-non-verbal behavior cues
-fidgeting, no eye-contact, ect...
Term
What does the term truth bias mean?
Definition
-we believe that the lie cannot be true, because we care about and love our partners
Term
What is the textbook definition of betrayal?
Definition
-hurtful actions by people we trusted and from whom we did not expect such misbehavior
Term
What is the textbook definition for forgiveness?
Definition
-giving up one's right to retaliate for the wrong doing of others
Term
How does Gotman say to regulate conflict?
Definition
-soften the startup (compliment first, then complain)
-accept influence
-accept other's point of view, don't wear blinders
-matters more to men than women, in terms of accepting influence
-compromise
-be specific
Term
What are some ways to describe conflict?
Definition
-unavoidable
-interpersonal dissimilarity
-intrapersonal dissimilarity (dialectic)
-competing needs
Term
Explain and expand on the idea of "frequency of conflict."
Definition
-personal traits
-attachment style
-stage of lide
-high agreeableness = less conflict
-low agreeableness= more conflict
-most conflicts in couples don't change
Term
Define Interpersonal conflict.
Definition
-occurs when people have to give up something that they want because of their partner's influence
Term
Define Dialectics.
Definition
-are woven into a relationship, always eventually cause some kind of strain
Term
What are the five courses of conflict?
Think IAETN
Definition
- investigating events
-attributions
-engagement and escalation
-the demand/withdraw pattern
-negotiation and accommodation
Term
Explain the first course of conflict, instigating events.
Definition
-4 categories of events cause conflict
-criticism, illegitimate demands, rebuffs, cumulative annoyances
-heterosexuals often fight over access to sex
Term
Explain the second course of conflict, attributions.
Definition
-when partners fight over whose explanation is right, and whose is wrong
Term
Explain the third course of conflict, engagement and escalation.
Definition
-when an escalating event occurs, partners can decide to choose conflict or to avoid it
-can be direct or indirect
-problem occurs when partners fall into a pattern of negative affect reciprocity
Term
Explain the fourth course of conflict, the demand/withdraw pattern.
Definition
-occurs when one partner approaches the other about a problem and the other responds by avoiding the issue
-women tend to be the demanders and the men tend to be the withdrawers
Term
Explain the fifth course of conflict, negotiation and accommodation.
Definition
-when a couple works towards a solution in a sensible manner
-when couples choose to inhibit the course of fighting fire with fire & work for a solution and with a constructive voice and loyalty
Term
List the four types of couples.
Definition
-volatile=frequent and passionate arguments
-validators=calmer, more relaxed discussions
-avoiders=avoid conflict or discuss it mildly and gently
-hostiles= marked negatively, mirages are more fragile than the other three groups
Term
List the two possible outcomes of conflict.
Definition
-ending conflict= it can end with separation, domination, compromise, integrative agreement, and structural improvement
Term
Can fighting be good for a relationship?
Definition
-yes if couples use the speaker/listener technique
Term
What does a volatile conflict graph look like?
Definition
-Bad
-REALLY GOOD
-Bad
(up and down)
Term
What does a validators conflict graph look like?
Definition
-up and down, up and down
-casual trend
Term
What does an avoiders conflict graph look like?
Definition
-mostly steady line
-secretly hope it will go away
Term
What does a hostile conflict graph look like?
Definition
-rapid up and down
-negative affect
Term
What is the textbook definition of social power?
Definition
-the ability to influence the behavior of others and to resist their influence on us
Term
What affects power?
Definition
-dependency
-alternatives ( great alternative = more power)
-principle of lesser interests (less interested = more power)
Term
Compare fate control vs. behavioral control.
Definition
-fate= complete control over restrictive things
-behavioral= one person changes to interest partner
Term
What is reward power?
Definition
-get what you want, by taking things away
Term
Compare fate control vs. behavioral control.
Definition
-fate= complete control over restrictive things
-behavioral= one person changes to interest partner
Term
What is reward power?
Definition
-get what you want, by taking things away
Term
What is coercive power?
Definition
-whine or pouting to get what you want
Term
What is legitimate power?
Definition
-what is understood or agreed upon
-social norms, golden rule
Term
What is referent power?
Definition
-what you want to be happy
Term
What is expert power?
Definition
-who knows what's up, broad
Term
What is informational power?
Definition
-really specific piece of information
Term
What is mutual power?
Definition
-sharing
Term
What is covert power?
Definition
-undercover
Term
What is overt power?
Definition
-power that is out in the open but not completely equal
Term
What are the two forms of violence?
Definition
-physical
-psychological/emotional
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